Purple Rain
I watched the Prince classic last night, and was struck by how fucked up it was. Ok, let’s talk about it. I know that domestic violence is part of the message of the film…but then why does the father of “The Kid” end up with a sympathetic portrayal? He beats his wife, and we’re supposed to feel SAD when he tries to commit suicide? We’re supposed to cry when Prince dedicates “Purple Rain” to him? It’s supposed to be some sort of testiment to love that the last time we see Prince’s parents, his father is lieing bandaged in a hospital bed, and his mother is asleep in a chair next to him, holding his hand? Ah love: when you stand by your man after he beats you.

And what’s up with Prince and Apollonia in that movie? What woman goes out to some Minnesota lake with some skinny sky on a motorcycle, and then decides she really likes him after he…

A) Convinces her to strip and jump into Lake Minatonka to “pass the initiation”
B) Laughs after she’s jumped, saying “That isn’t Lake Minatonka.”
C) Drives away on his motorcycle as she’s shivering on the lakeside
D) Comes back but then jerks the bike forward as she’s trying to get on
E) Laughs and says “Sorry,” and then jerks his bike away A SECOND TIME when she tries to get on

Last time I checked, that wouldn’t turn me on. Then again this is a woman who, when Prince walks up to her on the street, gestures to the anklet around her oh-so-’80s heeled boot, and says “Give me that,” does exactly what he says. Then she chases him around saying “Give it back!” Last time I checked, evolution was still working overtime to weed out weak links like that.