Just sent in my application for this job. Since this is a Conde Nast magazine, I emailed the director of the Columbia Publishing Course and said, in less harsh language, “Listen, I gave you six grand this summer. You BETTER help me get this goddamn Conde Nast job.” She said she didn’t know anyone at Bon Appetit, but that she would “try and find someone so that your resume will get into the right hands.” Great.

Setting: Conde Nast Pulications Mailroom
Mail guy: [picking up my envelope] “Oh god, it’s another fucking application for that job that’s already been filled. Oh wait, didn’t Lindy call me about this? I’m so glad I went to the Columbia Publishing Course so I could have high-powered connections like her!”