Things that are funny:

  • When the poor pierced 19-year-old alternagoob at Subway tries to squeeze some honey mustard on my sandwich, squeezes too hard, and causes the lid to pop off and an entire container of mustard to blorp onto my sandy.

    Things that are not:

  • When the cook in the paper’s cafeteria jokes about charging me for hot water for my tea.

    Every

    single

    time.

    Dude, I get it. It wasn’t funny the first time. Now shut your hole, and let me get my hot water.