This jetlag has turned me into a thrower of tantrums (and other things). Last night, as I sat bleary-eyed trying to fold laundry at 7:30pm, I suddenly realized I was very very tired. This was brought on by overwhelming irritation over the fact that my cell phone is still somewhere between Los Angeles and Seattle, thanks to Andreas leaving it there (along with his wallet, his cell phone charger, and other crucial items). Since Dre and I don’t have a landline, my cell being gone and his being pooped out is definitely pretty bad news.

Perhaps noticing the frightening look on my face, my zookeeper — excuse me, my boyfriend — asked what was wrong.

“I’m jet-lagged,” I whined.
“Anything I can get you?” he asked.
“MY PHONE!” Again, tiara thrown to the floor.
“Anything else?” he asked, staying calm as the eye of a hurricane must.
“Pet my head?” I whined, and crawled into bed. Reaching to turn off the light, my hand bumped a metal travel tea cup that’s been sitting on the bedside for a day or two. Suddenly, that tea cup was really really bothering me. So I threw it across the room. (This may sound familiar to long-time readers.)

At that, even the mighty lion tamer Andreas showed some trepidation, and scurried away.

“Come back!” I howled/whined.

Then he used the famous jedi-mind trick on me, and I fell asleep. I’m not quite sure how he does it, but it involves using his index finger to stroke my forehead, going from the bridge of my nose up to my hairline in a straight line. Right over the third eye. Knocks me out every time. Soothes the savage jet-lagged beast within. He escaped the tempest unscathed.

This morning I slept until 6am (applause, please), and am feeling much better. Andreas seems to be none the worse for the wear, and I’m being very appreciative that someone knows how to deal with his little princess when she gets foul-tempered.