Tonight I went over to the Island for dinner with my mother.

Anyway, during dinner at Sawatdi, my mom presented me with little red felt pouches she’d made. Each one was decorated with a small fabric rose, a seashell, a metal moon pendant, and a clasp in the shape of a woman’s body. They were strung on long beaded necklaces, easy to slip over your head, and had a small rock from Red Rock Canyon inside.

“They’re for when you’re having your period,” my mom whispered conspiratorially over the dinner table. I proclaimed that, although it was not my time, I would pretend I was spotting and put it on for the night.

I was reminded just how many little pouches my mother has given me over the years. I have one that she gave me for my high school graduation that has some pine needles and rocks from the Island in it. My mom likes rocks. She gave me another pouch that had a wad of fur in it…I can’t remember now if it was from of my dead pet rabbits, or from my dead cat. Needless to say, mom likes little pouches almost as much as she likes rocks.

Can you imagine the outrage I would incite if I wore this little red pouch and, when people commented on it (because it is rather eye-catching), I said in a loud voice, “I’M WEARING IT BECAUSE I’M HAVING MY PERIOD!” HA! I noted outloud that the pouch was big enough for exactly one applicator-less tampon. My mother scoffed (I believe the gift was intended for reverent purposes), but I think I’ve finally found a utilitarian use for one of my little pouches! Vinnie’s tampon cases — look out! Here comes my mom!

(Aside: can I just mention how much I love MUM? Where else can you learn that “The letters o.b., by the way, stand for ohne Binde, which means without a menstrual pad, in German. The abbreviation itself indicates the size of the product, an effect undoubtedly the company intends.”)