Sometimes I miss The Stranger: Talk Good, 10 Useful Hints for Everyday Grammar, by Sean Nelson. (Thanks, Leila!)

“It’s” means “it is” (as in, “It is cold,” “It is time to clean the bong,” or “It is not that I don’t like you, I’m just not attracted to you”), and sometimes “it has” (as in, “It has come to this,” or “It has been a long time since I read an article by such a snob”). Meanwhile, “its” means “belonging to it”–as in, “The bear wiped its ass on the rabbit,” or “This article is certainly taking its time to come to the point.”

(Oh, and unrelated linking: this is funny.)