Daily affirmations of a word mercenary
This MetaFilter thread reminds me of a story.
I have a dear friend from Alaska who is one of those traditional liberals — not at all close-minded, but accustomed to living a traditional lifestyle in smaller Alaskan cities. She’s famous for oggling clerks at sex stores (see? She’s obviously not conservative if she’s shopping for sex toys) and remarking afterwards, “He had his earlobes stretched! It was almost, well, tribal!” She’s never judgemental, but it every trip to Seattle seeemed to unveiled some new sight for her eyes.
During one of her visits (almost five years ago), she and I and TC and Andreas and Echo went out dancing together, at an 18+ rave club called Vinyl. We all danced around to thumpy house music, drank non-alcoholic beverages, and chatted up a storm.
After heading home, while sitting around cups of tea and chatting, my Alaskan friend marvelled about the club: “It was just great to see all those men so comfortable with their sexuality!”
TC, Andreas, and I all looked a little confused. Had any of my super-queeny friends been there? Had my friend caught some goth-gays making out in a corner somewhere? The club was hardly a straight meat-market, but it hadn’t seemed very gay that night. When I asked her what she meant, she explained, “Oh, you know: just all those men dancing … and hugging!”
TCand Andreas both laughed, and TC explained that, while he’s pretty damn straight, he likes dancing around whoever is feeling the music the most. Guys, girls, whoever. If someone else is dancing hard as hard as he is, TC explained, he’ll catch their eye, smile, and maybe even give them a hug and chat about the music. Andreas concurred.
My friend from Alaska was stunned. “Really!?” she marvelled. “That is just so great that you’re so comfortable hugging other men!” It made me realize that the touchy-feely men in my life are truly a blessing. So, for every single one of my guy friends who hugs everyone (which is most of them), I salute you!
Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, was published last year.
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scully
October 16th, 2002 at 8:14 am
I’m a hugger. Throws both men and women off when I hug them the first time I meet them. Well, if I get a good vibe from them. I met my father-in-law for the first time last week — a few days before the wedding — and I hugged him. Luckily he is a hugger too.
Echo
October 16th, 2002 at 9:03 am
I love male huggers too!! oohhh SEXY!!!!
leblanc
October 16th, 2002 at 9:50 am
huggers when they’re sober or not sober?
Christine
October 16th, 2002 at 10:29 am
Timely discovery from MeFi this am after reading your story. I bet your friend will like some of these!
http://www.icp.org/exhibitions.....index.html
Halcyon
October 16th, 2002 at 10:38 am
Yay, Hugging!!
I hugged someone recently who said, “That’s the first time I’ve hugged a man in 4 years.”
I was shocked. Baby steps, I guess.
psssst: HugNation is today at 6pm (pacific)
Ariel
October 16th, 2002 at 10:45 am
Christine, as the first sentence of this post indicates, the MeFi post was what prompted me to write this story. In fact, on MetaFilter, if you scroll to the bottom of the discussion, you can see my trackback link.
nikki
October 16th, 2002 at 4:33 pm
Lots of hugging in my world. And polite huggers, too. They’ve mastered the “lead with the shoulders, not the hips” hug.
Gen
October 17th, 2002 at 8:22 am
All this talk of hugging reminds me of Christine Lavin’s “Sensitive New Age Guys”
Ariel
October 17th, 2002 at 9:03 am
There are a lot of NON-Sensitive New Age Guys who hug, too. For instance, I’m doubting any of the men Nikki hugs are SNAGs. And very few of the ones I hug are.
Tim
October 22nd, 2002 at 12:41 pm
i remember that night well ariel. now i have a new hug story to tell:
the other night i went to a string cheese incident show, and ran into my japanese friend gen kojima. bill and i met him in vancouver at a show a couple of years ago, and since that time he has been travelling around the us and canada attending miscilaneous jam band shows. i remember when i first met him that i would try to hug him like i did everyone else, but he was very reticent, and didn’t take to well to it. i attributed that to his culture, since he had just arrived from japan, and i think it might be less common there to hug near strangers. i stopped giving him hugs so that i would not offend him. anyway, when i saw him the other night, he ran up and gave me a great big hug, and i realized that his aversion to hugs had disappeared. i guess two years on the road with hippies is a surefire way to cure huglessness!
Echo
October 22nd, 2002 at 1:03 pm
HHhahahahaH….. Cute!
leblanc
October 23rd, 2002 at 5:22 pm
mmmm hippie hugs!!!