Far from bad news, this job interview cancellation is a bit of a relief. Why, you ask? Well, sit down. (Oh wait: you’re probably already sitting down. Who stands at the computer?) Here’s a story for you:

During my visit to LA in July, I interviewed with an agency that came highly recommended to me by my former agent in Seattle. During the interview, the new agent told me that she already knew the perfect company for me — in fact they were right across the street, and she’d love to walk me over!

Sadly, the hiring manager across the way wasn’t in her office, but I did ask my new agent about the company so that I could do some research.

The building across the street was Herbalife’s world headquarters.

Now, I’m not sure how many of you remember when I posted a link to an investigative report about Herbalife. They’re responsible for the”WORK FROM HOME!!” and “I LOST 40 POUNDS! ASK ME HOW!!” signs you see in every city across the US (and many cities across the world). Herbalife is a combination of three pillars of American hucksterism:

  • Get rich quick
  • Lose weight fast
  • Pyramid scheme

    After learning all this about the company, I wasn’t quite as enthusiastic about working for them. I sent an e-mail to my agent linking the investigative report, and asking if she knew much about Herbalife’s operation. She was a little horrified, and the message was conveyed that, while I had to do what I had to do to pay the bills, I wasn’t especially interested in working for Herbalife.

    Time passes.

    Last week I got an e-mail from an agent at a different placement firm who’d found my resume online. He said he was looking to fill a copywriting position. I expressed interest. He sent me the job description. It looked good, but didn’t say anything about the company hiring. I asked the agent for more information about the company.

    He explained that it was an international distributor of herbal weight loss supplements.

    Yes, Herbalife.

    Of ALL the companies in this great big city, it’s Herbalife. But they were offering a pretty good rate. And it was only a three-month contract. And the commute wouldn’t be too bad. So I agree to do the interview today.

    Then I do a little bit more research. I read about how the founder of the company (that’s his photo up there) created a story about his mother dieing from diet pills (she actually died from an overdose of painkillers) as his motivating factor for starting Herbalife. Can’t you see him crying softly, talking about his poor mother, and how if ONLY she’d had access to his Ephedrine-based herbal pills (available from independent distributors worldwide!), she might still be with us today?

    Anyway, you can read all about the sketchy man yourself, but suffice to say that he died a couple years ago in his $27 million Malibu mansion, overdosed on alcohol and prescription pills.

    And this, my friends, was the company potentially employing me. It tormented me all weekend. I was agonized by the prospect of having to change my job description on life’s 1040 form to “LIAR.” Writing copy for The Paper was easy…I like newspapers. I read newspapers. I do not like pyramid schemes that take advantage of people’s desperation/insecurity/naïvité. I couldn’t believe the irony of moving to LA so that I could write copy for a get rich AND skinny quick pyramid scheme. The only thing more typically LA would be to work for a porn distribution center.

    This morning I e-mailed the agent to confirm the interview.

    He informed me that the hiring manager at Herbalife had decided to hire someone she interviewed last week.

    I breathed a sigh of relief. Yes, my money is running out. Yes, I really really need a job. But yes, I am relieved not to be interviewing at a company that makes my skin tingle with disdain.

    And no: I have no problems writing about this publicly. The waves of relief I felt when the interview was cancelled were all the signal I needed to understand that I don’t care how broke I get: I don’t want to work for Herbalife. Consider that bridge burned. Consider at least some scruples still in effect.