Daily affirmations of a word mercenary
Wait — have I never defined babycrack? I suppose I should do that. Babycrack is my way of explaining what it feels like to be a young breeder.
Readers who have had experiences with addictive behavior will understand that there are times when the little voice in your head (that voice you normally trust, the voice that reminds you to pee, eat, or sneeze) suggests that you do another line of coke, have another half-rack of beer, play another game of Craps or The Sims, or take another toke off that crackpipe.
Your conscious brain sits there and says, “Oh no: that’s not what I need right now. Not at all,” but the hungry little ghost inside says “Oh yes it is! Just one more line/sip/etc! Bet the farm: it doesn’t matter…just hurry up! Grab the mirror and the razor blade! Pick up the glass tube pipe! For godsake — the time is now!”
That, my dear friends, is what being a breeder girl in her late 20s feels like. You can know fully well that now is not the time to have a baby. Conscious brain says things like, “Gosh, I barely made rent and am totally emotionally unstable right now — probably not a good time to be thinking about reproduction,” but Babycrack brain says, “BUT LOOKIT LITTLE WIDDUM’S CUTIE WIDDLE BOTTOM!”
That, my friends is babycrack. And if a picture is worth a thousand words, here is a short visual essay on the subject. That’s me doing a big fat fucking line of quality-grade baby!
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5 Responses to “Babycrack Embodied”
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Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, was published last year.
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leblanc
December 8th, 2002 at 8:57 pm
i work with cute little chinese kids of all ages, and i don’t even ever make that face. i am NOT having any, especially not anytime soon. i have friends who do have them, and it’s downright terrifying.
helenjane
December 8th, 2002 at 11:45 pm
oh. i hear you sister.
(go to target on a saturday, ’bout two pm, excellent, excellent antidote)
philippe
December 9th, 2002 at 1:27 am
There’s nothing like a ‘good time’ to reproduce. There’ll be always something in the way. But you can’t do better of your life.
(just my experience of course).
Del
December 9th, 2002 at 6:57 am
Yeah, my mom seems to be agreeing with the little voice inside my head lately.
Brodie
December 9th, 2002 at 2:09 pm
Wow. that image made me laugh out loud, it really did. You are fully baby stoned there. I know the feeling so much, and I am male to boot. Oh well. The cure is a trip to the mall mid saturday.