Daily affirmations of a word mercenary
Over here, my coworker Heidi recounts an experience we had Friday and asks an honest question:
but what is it about grown men that cling to the idea that women gather and discuss betty lou’s new haircut, their boyfriends and the state of jello molds? and why are they so shocked, or in this case enlightened, when the conversation turns to sex, gossip, graphic descriptions of hair removal, lubricants and threesomes?
Also, an adendum to her recounting of the story: the guy used his cell phone as a prop to eavesdrop on us. He sat there with his phone to his ear for 20 minutes, looking off into space, clearly listening to our conversation.
This makes no sense unless you read Heidi’s post, so go.
Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, is in bookstores now.
You're reading a page from the archives. Check the homepage for current content.
philippe
March 24th, 2003 at 7:06 am
Well, it’s not that I feel shocked or surprised by such conversation. I know women sometimes chat very graphically about sex. Someone in Heidi’s comments argue they probably found your conversation hot, but didn’t want to admit it of course. I agree.
Strangely, I’ve always found myself very uncomfortable with those kind of locker’s room discussions betwween men, I really hate that, though I’ve no problem discuss these issues with women. I guess because they always have something vaguely arousing to me, in the back of my mind.
Now, what about those threesomes ?
db
March 24th, 2003 at 9:46 am
Aye- for some reason, when similar conversation is had by males, it seems oafish and shallow. So why would it be different coming from females…dunno…social conditioning, perhaps?
Ariel
March 24th, 2003 at 10:38 am
Quite honestly, db, our conversation was oafish and shallow. Here’s my theory: In the eyes of some men, women are still powerless little fifis waiting to be married and taken care of. This attitude is especially prevalent in LA, which has some major (MAJOR!) gender issues. So, because this guy expected us to be harmless, he was pleasently shocked to see that our “shop talk” was just as foul as his would have been. Women perceive men’s shop talk as offensive because they perceive men as being in a position of power, so it’s demeaning. Men perceive women’s shop talk as inoffensive and tittilating because they perceive women as being meek.
Er, maybe? I’m not very good with gender and power theories.
Tumbleweed
March 24th, 2003 at 2:16 pm
Then again, maybe when women act all superior to men when they hear men talking like that, it tends to make men think that women would never talk like that since they react that way hearing such talk. Hypocrisy works both ways, eh? The sexes are more alike than different, methinks. We’re all human, sad to say.
db
March 24th, 2003 at 3:17 pm
‘Tis as good as any theory I can come up with…goes along with the whole “bad-girl” fantasy syndrome, which strangely enough goes for many members of both genders…ain’t human’s funny?
Tumbleweed
March 24th, 2003 at 3:53 pm
I’m not sure “funny” is the word I’d use. Maybe I’m just in a cranky mood today, though.
I need a “new movie” infusion. Fortunately, I have a free sneak preview pass to a comedy “Head of State” tomorrow. Chris Rock is usually good for a laugh, and political comedy is probably just what I need right now.
suz
March 25th, 2003 at 6:56 am
I bet that guy was just trying to pick you ladies up hoping for a turbo four-way. He probably really wasn’t that shocked- just hoping for more action to go with your talk. Hah-sleazeball! ;o