[While buying food for the rats]

*Clerk:* That’s a lot of rat food!
*Me:* Well, they’re very picky eaters.
*Clerk:* Really?
*Me:* Yes, very discerning.
*Woman in line:* That kills rats?
*Me:* No, it keeps them alive. It’s for my pet rats.
*Woman in line:* Oh! Oh my. I’m so sorry.

Andreas and I laughed the whole way out to the car, imagining how the conversation could have gone.

*Clerk:* That’s a lot of dog food!
*Me:* Well, Mr. Crinkles is a very picky eater.
*Clerk:* Really?
*Me:* Yes, very discerning.
*Woman in line:* That kills little annoying yapping dogs?
*Me:* Oh my GOD! How could you even SUGGEST such a thing? Killing my little Mr. Crinkles?! Christ, lady! What are you, a monster? Why would I come to a pet store to kill my dog?
*Woman in line:* Oh! Oh my. I’m so sorry.

That lady’s lucky us rat owners have such good senses of humor about our pets.