In the spirit of Mimi Smartypants, I’m going to continue with my crazed list-making.

Things currently sticking my craw:
(i.e. Things I am overly-sensitive about:)
(i.e. I am so very Baghdad today, i.e. I am defensive about:)

1. People who incorrectly assign motivations to my lifestyle.

Example 1: “Oh, you’re cleansing: how very LA of you.” (Funny, since the first two times I did this cleanse I was in Olympia, WA, an anti-LA if there ever was one.)

Example 2: “Oh, you’re going to the gym: how very LA of you.” (Funny, since I spent the last year working out at the YMCA in Seattle, and before that I worked out at a gym in Oly.)

Obviously, the real sensitivity here centers around people citing Los Angeles as influencing me. I’ll tell you the ways in which LA has influenced me: A) I have a pair of white linen beach pants. That would not happen in Seattle. B) I am not the sickly pale green color that I normally am this time of year. C) I miss Seattle every day. D) I feel like I don’t fit in at all, which would not happen in Seattle. E) Much to Andreas’ chagrin, my driving has gotten even more aggressive.

2. People who judge the insides by the outside

Three people in the last 10 days have commented on how I’ve become “clean-cut.” These are mostly people who were used to seeing me with that hair I used to have, and clearly applied my hairstyle to my entire lifestyle. Because I had rainbow dreads, I was a freak. Because I now have semi-natural hair, I’ve become “clean cut.” Never mind that, when I had the crazy hair, I had some of the most boring clothes ever. I went by the theory that if I had weird hair, no one noticed the clothes anyway. Clearly, I was right, because now people seem to think that I used to dress more wacky than I do now, which simply isn’t true.

Let’s overlook the superficiality of it: am I any less of a freak now than I was when I had the weird hair? I don’t think so. Sometimes the biggest freaks are the ones who know how to sneak under people’s superficial freak-radars. That’s where the REAL subversion happens. Stop being so obvious, people.

That said, it’s been four months since I got a haircut, and I have a hair appointment on Thursday. You’ll have to wait and see. Rest assured, it is not rainbow colored dreadlocks, so I’m sure some people will still insist that I’ve obviously become a young republican.

3. Boyfriends who don’t look at the gas gauge

Yesterday I was running late to work, and when I got in the car, what greeted me? A gas gauge below empty. I hadn’t used the car once all weekend, so we know who was responsible for the lack of gas fillage. (Hint: my male counterpart.) Since I was already late, I just had to run on empty and a prayer, hoping I’d make it to work. After griping about it to Dre, I made the mistake of reinforcing this behavior by purchasing the naughty boyfriend some clothing while I was out working on my young republican wardrobe. I couldn’t help it: I never had a Barbie doll growing up, so Andreas is my Ken.