Rocks Don’t
16Jun2003 Filed under: ObservationsBumpersticker I saw on the way to work:
God forgives.
Rocks don’t.
I went through several theories about what this might mean.
1. Driver is a rock climber, and the statement is a meditation on his relationship with the difficult rocks he scales.
2. Driver is an environmentalist, and the statement is a meditation on the fact that, while God might forgive you for the way you abuse the planet, mother nature is a wrathful, resentful bitch who will punish and smote you mightely for all the abuse she’s received.
3. Driver is a geologist, and the statement is a meditation on his theological battles between his religion and his science.
Any theories? [Update: I should have written to Dear Donut to ask advice on this issue, because she had the answer to this bumpersticker mystery! Read more in the comments.]
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14 Responses to “Rocks Don’t”
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Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, was published last year.
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leblanc
June 16th, 2003 at 9:32 am
i’d say #1 is a good call. or perhaps he’s just stating facts. rocks don’t forgive - they can’t.
oze
June 16th, 2003 at 10:29 am
Speaking from experience, this person is not a geologist. We prefer bumper stickers like…
Love a geologist and feel the bedrock.
Stop platetectonics!
One schist
Two schist
Greenschist
Blueschist
I have seen them all. Number 1 looks like the best choice.
brian w
June 16th, 2003 at 11:29 am
Something to do with Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery” perhaps? Yay for public stoning.
ben
June 16th, 2003 at 12:00 pm
leblanc, perhaps he is stating the facts and rocks don’t forgive because they choose not to. and perhaps, assuming it’s not a nonsequitur, rocks are the only other entities, aside from God, in the universe capable of true forgiveness. unfortunately, it’s probably just a tenuous reference to the “he who is without sin cast the first stone” quote from jesus prior to the stoning of the whore.
Brodie
June 16th, 2003 at 1:47 pm
Time for the recovering fundi to bring clarity. heh.
I might think that this is a slightly cynical and certainly mean spirited fundi-bumper sticker. One that wages a war on philosophy right there on the back end of a car. (see darwin/icthus bumper war for reference) The point of this sticker in this case would be “God forgives and your pantheistic crystal woship will not” et. al. ad. nauseum.
Ariel
June 16th, 2003 at 1:58 pm
I’m confused, though, because they guy also had a “FÜKINGRÜVIN” sticker on the back of his car, which doesn’t seem to go well with the fire ‘n’ brimstone.
the mighty jimbo
June 16th, 2003 at 2:52 pm
rocks AND fukingruvin? take it from me, definitely a climber. definitely.
donut
June 16th, 2003 at 3:03 pm
This site might clear up some of the confusion…
Ariel
June 16th, 2003 at 3:35 pm
Wow. Why didn’t I think to search Google for “god forgives, rocks don’t”? Probably because I had no fucking clue that there’s a whole world of “folks who have an interest in four wheeling, off roading and getting to know the Lord, Jesus Christ.” The vehicle with the bumper sticker WAS a 4×4 jeep, just like you see on that webpage.
Thanks for clearing up my confusion, Amy. I’m in awe.
miss ellen
June 16th, 2003 at 8:40 pm
wow, who knew?
Ariel
June 16th, 2003 at 9:48 pm
I will say this for the Sons of Thunder: at least their SUVs actually get taken off road. Then again, they’re driving through wildlife areas, but hey: at least they’re using SUVs for what they were intended for!
kate
June 17th, 2003 at 3:39 am
actually, ariel, most four-wheelin’ clubs “tread lightly”, which means they pledge to respect the environment and not to harm it when they go trucking. how do i know this? i did html programming part time for my husband, who used to be the web designer for a four wheelin’ magazine (no he doesn’t do it… it was just a random job choice). from my freelance HTML work i also know quite a bit about drag racing too
alison
June 17th, 2003 at 8:51 am
see, i thought it was a creationism vs. evolution statement. like, god created the universe, he/she is a forgiving and benevolent entity. belief in evolution (represented here by rocks) means that you’ll have no such entity to rely on or to ask for forgiveness.
that could work, right? right?
cfink
August 24th, 2005 at 10:49 am
I’m amazed at all of the different ideas you people came up with for that bumper sticker. I was looking to buy the sticker (because I know what it really means) and I stumbled on this thread. For those who didn’t know what it meant, maybe one day (soon, i hope) you too will know what it means to be forgiven by the Lord Jesus Christ. “Not by works alone”.
c