I’m balancing my day job with a little freelance work for a non-profit that organizes outreach projects between police officers and civilians. I’m currently writing some introductory copy for a teaching unit for junior police academy cadets. The unit is titled “THE PENAL CODE’S PRESCRIPTION FOR PUNISHMENT.” (Yes: all caps.)

Doesn’t it just sound so fantastically dirty?

I’m picturing a suburban basement and a woman in a black corset shouting, “SAY IT AGAIN!” A snivelling businessman in a maid’s costume whimpers from the floor, “Madame Demonta’s penal code precription for punishment, section 8.2b says, ‘naughty maids will be beaten with a rubber mallot, then stuffed in a cage.’ AND NAUGHTY MAIDS WILL LIKE IT.”