Daily affirmations of a word mercenary
Ariel’s technique to ensure that your boss treats you like a toddler (ie, “Just ignore this behavior, I’m sure she’ll get bored and stop”) while keeping yourself thoroughly amused (and highly productive!):
Creat a evil executive alterego (i.e. execunym) and proceed to harrass people with communications like the ones below.
Shane [my boss who called in sick today],Feel better soon. That said, don’t think I’ll forget this “illness” come review time!
Regards,
Paul
Coder: trying to find the pages to update
Designer: can i do anything to help?
Coder: very difficult
Coder: it’s just a very complex/disorganized setup
Psychotic Copywriter: Coder,
Psychotic Copywriter: this is Paul, here.
Psychotic Copywriter: We ALL think this project suxors.
You are not alone.
Coder: Paul Stallings?
Psychotic Copywriter: Although I will remember this whining,
Psychotic Copywriter: come REVIEW TIME!
Coder: thank you for the support
Psychotic Copywriter: Regards,
Psychotic Copywriter: Paul.
Coder: Paul
Coder: happy to know I will get a review
Designer: paul is the best
Coder: I feel a new sense of motivation
Coder: and dedication to the company
PS: It really works!
PPS: I understand if you don’t find this funny.
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7 Responses to “Paul I Am”
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Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, was published last year.
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designer
September 17th, 2003 at 3:41 pm
paul, you truly crack my ass. keep up the good smork and you’ll get more apples! game on!
Paul
September 17th, 2003 at 3:45 pm
Game on, designer! There’s the spirit!
Regards,
Paul
PS: The dot-com days are over.
Sarah
September 17th, 2003 at 6:30 pm
I heard Paul was very sexy….
brodie
September 18th, 2003 at 8:00 am
paul,
i am having difficulty motivating 10 year olds to work ‘outside the box’. is there a way to adapt ‘in you review’ to report cards?
Paul
September 18th, 2003 at 8:25 am
Brodie,
I really appreciate the proactiveness and “go get ‘em” spirit you’re demonstrating here. It’s hard when America’s young people won’t work “outside the box,” especially when we have so many of them on such strong (and effective!) medication.
That said, I think you should be able to encourage motivation by addressing bad behavior with a stern, “We’ll see how you feel about [tossing that spitwad/pulling her hair/that boring drawing] COME REPORT CARD TIME!”
Regards,
Paul
Ariel
September 18th, 2003 at 10:48 am
BTW, “coder” in above IM clip has given this phenomenon a name:
Paul is my execunym.
leblanc
September 18th, 2003 at 1:10 pm
good idea. perhaps i need to create an alter-ego to send emails so that i can also get the review (and hopefully raise) i’ve been waiting for for TWO YEARS.