Electrolicious

8 Responses to “Posterboy No More | Mother To Be”

1. Dave
   September 12th, 2003 at 11:29 am

   

   ahh thanks… though I intend to continue to represent the disenfranchised everywhere with lackadaisical work effort.

2. Dave
   September 12th, 2003 at 2:59 pm

   

   PS was it really 17 months?! Bleh…

3. yara
   September 12th, 2003 at 10:36 pm

   

   i noticed. i am happy for all of them and especially pleased to see people considering adoption, despite its many challenges.(and believe me when i say i feel really bad for thinking this much less saying it out loud) i’m also a little disappointed. these were all the people i was counting on to maintain unique perspectives on life and do interesting things until we were all old enough to retire to some south american country where we’d raise hell on the paddleball court and steal golf carts from the garage. and now they’ve gone and done the least unique thing any human can do with their lives. it’s going to turn into an MSN site or a TLC show–babybloggers or something ridiculous. they’ll be carrying paul frank diaper bags and claiming that parenthood hasn’t changed them any, except that they can’t fucking stop talking about their kids, taking pictures of their kids, or reveling out loud non-stop in the “magic” that is parenthood.

   we’re staying child-free so maybe i’m just feeling betrayed & abandoned… or taking this all just way too seriously. i think there’s an interesting divide that shows up when age groups start splitting into parents and non-parents and how communication between the two often disintegrates due to lack of understanding. there was a recent “sex and the city” that perfectly encapsulated it. anyway. ben sunshine says hi and we should all have dinner soon.

4. Ariel
   September 12th, 2003 at 11:23 pm

   

   Very interesting, Yara. I’m totally glad you brought this up, because it’s something I’ve been thinking about.

   First, you should know something: Electrolicious very well could (and if it sticks around long enough most undoubtedly will) become SPAWNolicious. That’s where I fall on the spectrum, and I should give you ample warning now.

   I respect all the choices that I’m seeing be made. I respect Heather for starting a family with her partner. I respect Mimi’s choice not to breed, but to start a family with her partner. I also have a lot of respect for people who chose not to have children at all. In each of these three cases, I assume that the adults involved have the information they need to know themselves and make the decision. I think all three decisions offer challenges and opportunity.

   I also respect friends of mine like Ben & Kara, who had a baby three years ago. Although having a baby may have been the path followed by the vast majority of their fellow mammals, my friends have chosen to maintain their ideals, quirks, and radical activism in parenthood. Kara runs a website for hipmama.com, and cranks out zines about vegan parenting and other kick ass shit. Ben is a teacher who subverts the dominant paradigm with kids every day. These parents are young, passionate, idealistic, and there are no “paul frank diaper bags” in site. Kara’s stories about the “magic” of parenthood involve venting about picking chunks of feces out of her son’s hair. They love their son, but they didn’t trade in their brains or personalities for a Costco membership and a picket fence when he was born. Are they perfect? No. Are any parents? Nope.

   I’d be curious to hear more about your philosophy that went into choosing to remain childless. I’m posting these comments publicly, but if you want to continue the conversation via email, that’s cool with me. It’s certainly an issue people will undoubtedly have strong reactions to, and I hope that the conversation can remain respectful on all accounts.

   I will say this: if your reasons for childlessness are related to population and environmental concerns, I’m all with you there. As an avowed only child, I plan to cut myself in half, evolutionarily. But I do plan to spawn. So, for better or for worse, Electrolicious may someday mutate into something very different from what it is today. Won’t we all?

5. paisley
   September 13th, 2003 at 12:06 am

   

   i really don’t know that matt and i will ever choose to have kids. we love kids but we rather like our time together. we are 6 years into our marriage and the only babies we have are our animals

   i am also an only child and i think it does something to your whole mind set on a load of issues.
   but as i am a big fan of birth/doula/raising younins
   there is a part of me that can’t see not being a mama..
   time will tell
   adoption has been talked about around here..

6. suz
   September 13th, 2003 at 5:47 am

   

   Just remember: One of the easier ways to bring radical people into this world is to raise one. Look at Ariel’s parents!

7. amanda
   September 13th, 2003 at 10:56 am

   

   I agree with suz. Having a child is a blessing and raising them to be radical gives great satisfaction to the parents. A lot of people can’t see themselves as parents, i didn’t either, but once you have one you can’t see yourself without them. However, it is important to keep your personality and have fun with them, not be burdened. And I think adoption is a great option, although I would worry about not being able to bond with the child. But I do not know anyone personally who has adopted, I wonder how challenging it is.

8. yara
   September 15th, 2003 at 11:38 pm

   

   the response was too long for such an itty-bitty box, so it’s here.