I have returned from Burning Man. As predicted, I was unable to post from the playa. Also predictably, I have come down with a cold, brought on by too much alkaline dust in my sinuses, too little sleep, too much fun, and extreme exhaustion.

My photos are sadly sitting on a friend’s laptop, so I am unable to upload them until later.

Until then, here is one of many stories.

Saturday night, I wore this quite appalling outfit that included the afore-mentioned crotchless net bodystocking with a fantastic pair of bright pink underwear that read “DANCING QUEEN” across the butt. It was quite fantastic in a really awful sort of way. I was dancing at the Bluehouse dome, and snuck out back to have a quick pee. Being oh so clever, I took advantage of the bodystocking’s design, and merely pulled my DANCING QUEEN skivies to the side for easy relief.

Unfortunately, in my less-than-sober state, my attempt at cleverness resulted in me quite unceremoniously pissing all over my underwear. I then had to shamefully pedal back to my camp, change out of the sadly defiled DANCING QUEEN panties, and put on a much less interesting black pair of tap pants. Since I’d been very visibly shaking my ass in the bright pink DANCING QUEEN undies, when I returned to the Bluehouse dome, questions were asked as to their where-abouts. Where had the pink panties gone? I answered honestly: “I peed on the DANCING QUEEN.” Really, what else could be said?

Perhaps the highlight of the week? Meeting Joy, a beautiful woman who reads this here blog, who spotted me on the playa. I spent a fantastic sunrise with her and her friends.

And despite days of searching, I never did find Philo.

PS: When I got home, Andreas had scrubbed down the whole house. Later, I cried with joy.