I’ve been growing my hair out ever since I cut off my dreadlocks in September of 2001. It’s gone through several difficult lengths. The “gets in eyes but doesn’t tuck behind ears” floppy phase. The “past ears but not yet to jaw” bowl cut phase. The “someone call me about my 401k” boring above-the-shoulders phase.

And now it’s reached a new length. The “better hold your hair back when you’re spitting out your toothpaste and mouth-mucus” phase. Also known as the “oops, I hocked a loogie on my ‘do” phase.

While there are unfortunate side-effects of this length, it’s also exciting: this is the longest my hair’s been since I was in college. Well, if you don’t count all those extensions I had a few years ago.