Daily affirmations of a word mercenary
Who’s getting married? WE ARE! Who’s a geek? I AM! Who doesn’t like answering the same questions over and over again? ME! Therefore who makes a retarded engagement FAQ? I DO!
Was there a proposal?
No, there was a collaborative decision.
When’s the wedding?
Most likely August 7th. Needs to be early enough so that folks headed to Burning Man can make it, but late enough so that we can hedge all bets on rain.
Where’s the wedding?
Bainbridge Island.
What will the bride wear?
Maybe something designed by Red Ant.
What will the groom wear?
Cargo pants and a t-shirt? That’s what he usually wears.
Will you take his surname?
No, neither of us agree with that tradition. (Aside: when a kid comes into the picture, a daughter would get my surname, and a son would get his.)
Who will be bridesmaids/groomsmen?
First things first: there’d be bridesmen and groomsgirls. I’ve never understood why the groom can only be supported by his guy friends, and the bride can only have her gaggle of “maids” because GOD KNOWS once you get engaged you certainly can’t have friends of the opposite sex because, like, that clearly means you’re having an affair and don’t love your fiance. Bullshit. One of my closest friends is male, and some of Dre’s dearest friends are female. That said, I don’t think we’re doing the whole bridal wedding party thing, so it’s a non-issue…but I almost wish we WERE just so that I could make a gender-political point.
Will there be hoops involved in the wedding?
A party without hoops? Are you fucking INSANE? Hoops will figure prominently.
Where will you go for the honeymoon?
Current pipedream: our beloved Bandol, France, to work the vendanges at our friend’s winery! Who wants a honeymoon where you lay around and have sex? We’ve done that for six years! Give me sweat in the vinyards. (Plus: free wine in exchange for manual labor! Now that is romance, folks.)
UPDATE FROM AUGUST, 2004
It’s amazing that most of the basic details of our wedding were decided almost immediately, and panned out exactly as first envisioned six months before. If it was all that easy, it musta been right!
Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, was published last year.
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jess
February 24th, 2004 at 6:20 pm
yara
February 24th, 2004 at 11:24 pm
we didn’t agree with the whole girl-taking-the guy’s-name either. that’s why we picked out a new one for both of us. teamwork!
again, congratulations! please let me know if you need anything at all–even if it’s just calming down about wedding planning or complaining about all the cheesey commercial wedding nonsense. i’m well practiced now!
Amparo
February 25th, 2004 at 12:20 am
What fun! Congratulations!
Cristen
February 25th, 2004 at 7:12 am
How very cool! I’m so glad to see someone breaking out of the “bride must wear white and be sedate blah blah blah” bit. For months after my wedding I was wishing I HAD walked down the aisle to Joan Jett’s “Bad Reputation”.
I wasn’t entirely down with the whole name changing/taking so I wound up becoming a hyphenate. It’s worked out kind of interestingly. About 1/2 the people call my by my old last name, 1/4 by the hyphenate and 1/4 by my husbands name. I think sticking with what you’ve got is the way to go.
t
February 25th, 2004 at 7:36 am
de-lurking to say congrats ariel! i didn’t do the name change either, and used bluegrass for the ceremony music. if you need them, lots of alternative weddin’ ideas abound at http://www.indiebride.com.
sean
February 25th, 2004 at 9:50 am
Congrats, Air.
Just an idea if you want to do something really political: get a civil union instead of a marriage. (Sorry, GLBT marriage has been a hot issue here in Ohio since Governor Taft signed one of the most sweeping anti-GLBT laws into effect earlier in the month.)
Zosia
February 25th, 2004 at 10:52 am
Oh my God, walking down to aisle to Bad Reputation is a fantastic idea. I’m going to store that one away, though I know my Mom would absolutely die.
kate
February 25th, 2004 at 12:16 pm
i walked down the aisle to sigur ros’s “svefn-g-englar”. it was kick ass. but i do wish i’d thought of “bad reputation.” that would rule!
leblanc
February 25th, 2004 at 12:33 pm
i think Andreas should also wear something designed by The Red Ant.
sometimes i want to get married just so i can spend a good chunk of money on my dream one-of-a-kind attire.
b
February 25th, 2004 at 12:39 pm
congrats!! ariel and dre’s wedding: infamy awaits.
QuirkyBaseballGirl
February 25th, 2004 at 12:49 pm
Kudos! Especially on the “collaborative decision” part….Way to break free from the prescribed social norms and redefine the celebration (not institution) of marriage!
kev
February 26th, 2004 at 8:34 am
my ‘best man’ was my best friend at the time, juliet. tattoos and dyed hair and all.
Sarah
February 26th, 2004 at 9:07 am
Rock. Bridesdudes and groomschicks are such fun - we had a groomschick and she caused some degree of consternation amongst the parental generation. But she looked as good in a tux as the guys did!
I was entertained to note that in the midst of your stuff about making a gender-political point, you said “That said, I don’t think we’re doing the whole bridal party thing, so it’s a non-issue…” BRIDAL party? Not wedding party? ;^) (tongue is of course firmly planted in cheek here…)
Katherine
February 26th, 2004 at 10:40 am
congrats! I look forward to the updates on what will certainly be a one-of-a-kind wedding
Julie
February 26th, 2004 at 11:31 pm
Sorry it’s taken me a while to say Congratulations! I love your announcement and FAQ. Marriage is wonderful. Joy and peace to you two in every way.
Philos
February 28th, 2004 at 6:30 pm
How is it that I haven’t said “congratulations” yet? Boo on me. Well, hope you still notice comments on the posts way down here.
Congratulations!
Oze
March 2nd, 2004 at 7:16 am
Congratulations! Hoo ah!
philipe
March 4th, 2004 at 7:15 am
I hope you’re still reading this :
Hey, I quit reading electrolicious
for a few days (gone to ski, being french I got a lot of holidays as you know…), and you’re getting married ?
Congratulations !!
An uniformed french question : what kind of a wedding will it be : religious ? And, if so, which ritual ?
philippe
March 4th, 2004 at 7:16 am
Argh, a typo in my own name…
alia
March 8th, 2004 at 7:23 pm
oh my god! congratulations! this is totally awesome and good for you for not sticking to the “traditional” stuff. Anyways, I am really happy for you. =)
Adelina
March 13th, 2004 at 4:32 am
Woo Hoo!