I hate blog posts about illness, so rather than be a hypocrite, I will simply say that I have been sick for the last few days, and that it’s a real shame to be ill when there’s such lovely spring weather outside.

I’ve considered hauling my mucusy, wearied carcass outside … but I’ve got a chill and there’s just something so terribly tuberculoid about a sick person wrapped in a blanket sitting outside in the sun. I’d need a wicker wheelchair and an English manse to complete the look, and those accessories are unavailable to me at this time.

I do, however, have an abundance of weighty used tissues. Performance art, anyone? I can sit in my wicker wheelchair and you can dance around naked with my used tissues, intoning “What is dis ease? What is dis guise? What is dis tissue but the blood of a forest, stripped and refined?”