Accumulated left-overs from our housewarming last night:

30 or so empty bottles, including beer, wine, gin, and german absinthe (!)
13 unopened bottles of assorted beer
5 unopened bottles of wine (score!)
3 lovely houseplants (double score!)
2 partially consumed jugs of cranberry juice
2 of the biggest bruises I’ve ever seen on the fronts of my thighs*
1/2 box of fig newtons
1/2 quart of vodka
1/2 bottle of chambord

*Seriously, where did these 5-inch-in-diameter bruises come from? Are they left-overs from the hoop performance I was in on Friday night? Was I beaten in my sleep? Did I bump into something? Christ! They’re HUGE.