Daily affirmations of a word mercenary
In 1999, I knew a raver named Bonnie. She was 14 years old and wore homemade pink fuzzy Strawberry Shortcake overalls. I knew her in part because she was super active in the rave scene, but also because she was close with a friend and Lotus employee. This friend/employee was really sweet, a dedicated raver the likes of which you don’t see often. He saved every glowstick he ever used, archiving them by party name and date. He carried the most well-stocked rave bag I’d ever seen, filled with everything anyone might need: water, candy, lotion, Band-Aids, chapstick, and even tampons for his ladyfriends. He went out at least three nights a week. He lived with his parents so that rent money could go towards raves. He was also a 28 year old man who was in a close relationship with a 14 year old girl.
Those of us around him were always cautioning him. “Danger! Danger!” we’d say. The situation was legally sketchy for him, and an emotional nightmare. It could have been really bad news. It was trouble.
Despite the dangerous situation, I always sort of liked Bonnie. When a writer friend was writing an article about young ravers for a now-defunct teen magazine called Jump, I referred her to Bonnie. I wish I had a copy of that article. Bonnie posed in her pink strawberry overalls and talked about how drugs were bad and she had to go on antidepressants because of her bad experiences at raves. It was funny, because when I referred Bonnie for the article, Bonnie told me that she wasn’t totally sure about doing the piece. “I’m going to be a pop star,” she told me in all seriousness. “I can’t go burning my bridges.” At the time I laughed. Tee hee. Little candyraver is going to be a pop star.
Anyway, here we are in the present, and that 14 year old is now 19 and she got signed by a record label, moved to LA, and just released her first album, which I guess has been in the works for three years. You can look at her website, if you want.
When I saw that her album released, I decided to do some poking around for news. I found this article, in which Bonnie claims that most of her album, “Trouble,” is about “this guy who was much older than me. He was my first love, my first real experience with relationships.” Er, so this album is all about my former employee? The notorious candy raver of yesteryear? My goodness!
The interview is confusing though:
SM: Was it strange being with someone so much older than you?
BM: Well, in retrospect, it was ridiculous. I mean, I don’t hate him at all–he really saved me at a time when nobody else wanted to take the time to deal with me. But I do think that I was exploited. It was a really rocky relationship, and I definitely have a Lolita complex because of it. [laughs] … Teenage girls aren’t victims–they know a lot more than people think or probably want to admit. Nobody wants to believe that adolescents can be sexual beings and understand themselves…
So wait, she was exploited, but teenage girls aren’t victims? I’m so confused. One thing’s for sure: she’s certainly working it hard these days.
Regardless, my congrats to Bonnie for her album’s release. It looks like it’s getting some decent reviews. And to my former employee who seems to have inspired the album? Dude, we tried to tell you she was Trouble.
Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, is in bookstores now.
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Brodie
October 11th, 2004 at 12:04 pm
oh, you should go onto her website and listen to the song “january”. its all about this topic of underage love…. wow. you know though, those first two songs are just good pop-music.
leblanc
October 11th, 2004 at 12:53 pm
very interesting. i used to say the same thing - i can’t go around “burning bridges” or say, letting naked photos of me be put in the internet…. someday i’m going to be famous, for sure (perhaps politically, even), but now i’m thinking that the more bridges i dramatically burn and the more photos of myself found on the internet, the better chance i have of getting famous.
Harry
October 11th, 2004 at 12:55 pm
Is this the same girl that Owen mentions occasionally as “The Next Britney”? Cause it would be weird if there were 2 of them that I was 2 hops from.
Ariel
October 11th, 2004 at 12:58 pm
Same girl, Harry.
drue
October 11th, 2004 at 3:13 pm
I have seen said glo-stick collection. It was quite impressive. How interesting that the person in question has now sort of become a watermark in the music of pop-culture. I think he would really enjoy that.
Despite the rather questionable nature of that association, I have it on good authority that it was simply a phase of his development he has long since evolved out of, and despite the rather unsavory nature of his past, he remains to this day, a kind and caring mature adult.
Owen
October 11th, 2004 at 5:19 pm
The seeming contradiction that you point out lies in one’s understanding of “victim.” Perhaps Bonnie meant that teenage girls are not neccessarily innocent within such interactions, but they are certainly outclassed and likely to end up being taken advantage of. It takes two to tango, but one of them is definitely leading. An imbalance of power (or wisdom) is implicitly unfair, and a passive form of exploitation in itself.
(See, budding feminist idealogue ex-girlfriends? I _was_ listening to some of that stuff you were yelling at me.)
Fortunately, in this case both individuals had good hearts and good intentions, and noone suffered any serious consequences. To the contrary- something good came of it all.
On a side note, Bonnie has songs about several people that I miss and love. Some of them are at war now, some of them are in hells of their own making, and some of them grew up and left their Lost Boys behind along with Neverneverland.
It’s strange to hear these old portraits of them again, and realize how far away they are now.
tamara
October 11th, 2004 at 5:20 pm
I looked at the site for shits and giggles…I think I like her catchy pop tunes. She’s got that gravelly yet high mournful angry happy voice I am oft attracted to. Sounds like the “lolita experience” fueled her creative flow. T
helenjane
October 12th, 2004 at 8:01 am
hee hee!
i accidentally found myself at a warner brothers party in san francisco where bonnie mckay was doin’ her thing.
we bought cds and drank too much. she was tolerant of both.
helenjane
October 12th, 2004 at 8:04 am
mckee.
not mckay.
bonnie/nellie/britney/ashlee
these attractive young things are hard to keep straight!
mark
October 12th, 2004 at 11:33 am
While I probably would not have otherwise checked this, I’ve been listening to the CD on Rhapsody and it’s pretty good. Here voice has more depth than, say Avril, and the arrangements aren’t bad. In fact it’s pretty catchy pop.
The Rhapsody mini-review says: “You crazy kids out there better watch out ’cause there’s a new girl on the pop scene named Bonnie McKee, and she’s trouble! Exotic drum loops and layers of vocal gymnastics throw out more hooks than a mess of fishing rods, while McKee sings about how bad she is. But she’s also not afraid to show her sensitive side with sensitive songs.”
In other random music happenings, I do recommend the new William Shatner album.
leblanc
October 12th, 2004 at 11:37 am
re: the lolita thing.
definitely read the first chapter of “Reading Lolita in Tehran” for an in-depth discussion of the Lolita “Vixen or Victim” dynamic. very very intresting.
claire
October 12th, 2004 at 11:50 am
great story / horrible music
heather
October 12th, 2004 at 3:39 pm
How very odd, because I just heard her single on one of the big radio stations here in Washington, DC.
Matt
October 14th, 2004 at 2:53 pm
>> So wait, she was exploited, but teenage girls aren’t victims?
The fact of the matter is that Bonnie has always been wise and mature beyond her years. She recognized the situation and saw it for what it was, but she continued it with full knowledge until it was time for it to be over. So yes, she might have been exploited, but she was no victim. You really can’t make Bonnie into a victim of anything, she’s too smart and realistic to allow that to happen. I met her shortly before they broke up, she was 15 at the time. To be truthful, I never got to know her boyfriend that well, but she was in my honest opinion the better friend of the two. The most appealing thing about her was her drive to accomplish her dream, which she’s currently doing right now. At a time when I couldn’t stand being around teenagers anymore, she reminded me that occasionally one of them can be amazingly creative, smart, and mature. She really is incredible, the near perfect girl every guy would be lucky to have.
– Matt