Daily affirmations of a word mercenary
I have a “no writing about work stuff” rule on my blog, but I’m making an exception to explain my recent job shuffle. I may regret it, but the story is too important to me not to get out there.
When Dre and I returned from the honeymoon, I found myself back in the basement, working for the same client I’ve worked for off ‘n’ on since 2002. The client was never able to commit to needing me for more than two weeks at a time (although often my contracts would stretch into the six-month range), but I was willing to put up with the unpredictability for a variety of reasons: the work was very easy for me, I liked the people I worked with, I had a walking commute, the work load was really light, etc.
One thing about this client, however: they paid me much less than my market value. When they first offered me the job, they offered it at one rate, and then a week later I found out that due to an “accounting error,” my pay rate was actually 8% less. I worked at this lower rate for my entire time with them.
When I returned after the honeymoon, however, I decided it was time to ask for a raise. Not even a REAL raise: just a bump back up to the hourly wage they’d initially offered me, almost three years ago. I won’t get into all the details, but I’ll say this: I inarguably deserved the raise. It was still several dollars below my market value.
Here’s the thing, though: I didn’t just ask for the raise — I demanded it. I let my agent know that the wage increase was a deal-breaker: either I got the rate I was asking for, or else I couldn’t work for the client. Do not ask me where I got the balls to do this. Usually I’m quite the compromiser. My agent seemed a little taken aback, but did the best he could, calling the manager and explaining the situation, and then following up with her repeatedly to get an answer.
My manager, meanwhile, dragged her heels. I worked for a week with no idea what rate I was working at and then I upped the stakes even higher: I staged a one-woman strike. Since the manager couldn’t commit to a wage, I wouldn’t commit to going in until I had an answer. It’s not smart to work when the contract is under negotiation. I also knew the way things work with this client: very…very…slowly. So I forced her hand. I decided to play hardball.
And then, well, I lost. The raise was declined. My coworkers, who’d all be cheering me on from the sidelines, fell silent.
Gulp. Deep breath. The air can get a little thin up here on Mount Righteousness.
In some ways, bland jobs are like bland relationships. You can come up with a million reasons why it’s good enough, why it would probably be hard to find anything better, why it’s nice and secure. My old job was just fine. But it wasn’t challenging me, I wasn’t learning anything, and I know myself well enough to know that I don’t do good work in that environment. There was no opportunity for advancement, and I was starting to deaden. I was having trouble getting motivated on my own projects because I spent 8 hours a day in a mouth-breathing haze.
In a way, I set myself up. I backed myself into a corner to force my OWN hand. I knew I wouldn’t make the decision to quit straight out, so I did it sideways. Rather than just storm out, I wanted to give my former client a last chance. Sure, I probably should have been smart and not been so demanding when I didn’t have anything else lined up, but it’s almost like I couldn’t help myself. I just went and did it without thinking. Who knew I could be so uncompromising? I sort of surprised myself.
It felt good until I realized with a twinge that being uncompromising might not feel so good after six months of unemployment.
The same day as I found out about the old client (gulp!), I had a phone interview with a prospective new one. A week later, I was offered the new job. A week later, I started it. And three days in, it seems like this new job is the perfect fit. Sure, sure: hard to tell after only three days. But I’m one of those people who trusts intuition and instinct as though it was a tablet from the heavens. And gut response says, “Cool job.” After my third day with the old client, I was already thinking, “Can I deal with this?”
I’ve gone from a basement to the 21st floor. My view has switched from a sliver of light with the occasional ankle passing by, to a territorial view of Pioneer Square. I genuinely liked the people I used to work with, and I genuinely like the people I work with now. My two fellow editors (aspiring screenwriter and ska fan? yes, please!) share my snarky sense of humor and irreverent take on pop culture. My day consists of doing things I enjoy: researching entertainment-related shit online (movie reviews — whee!), using a content manager to build web pages (geekery — whoo!), and writing snarky bits of copy (things like We’ve heard whispers of Rob Lowe being connected to the movie, “Iron Man.” The whispers say things like, “Rob’s rosy cheeks, blue eyes, and chiseled jaw would coordinate nicely with a suit of full-body armor. A really tight one.” Oh, and I got to make fun of this creepy picture.) Oh and best part? I’m making 20% more than I was at my old job. Now is the part where I resist the urge to dance around, both middle fingers extended, squealing, “THAT’S RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKERS!” Oh wait: I guess I didn’t resist it. THAT’S RIGHT! I AM DANCING AROUND RIGHT NOW.
I want to say that I totally lucked out (and oh: did I ever!), but there’s a typically-hidden woo-woo side of me that wants to believe that in part this is a reward for knowing what I’m worth, asking for it, and sticking to my guns when it wasn’t given to me. I really want to believe that somehow this is a sign that it’s smart to know your worth and stand up for yourself in getting what you deserve. Ultimately, even if you don’t win that battle, you win a bigger victory. THAT’S RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKERS! (sorry, sorry: like I said the air atop the Mighty Crag of Gun Sticking is a little thin.)
But really, I think I just seriously, seriously lucked out. Lucky stars are officially thanked.
Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, was published last year.
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Harry
October 31st, 2004 at 10:28 pm
I don’t know if I ever really told you the story, but I consider quitting my old job @ Microsoft one of the best, if not the best decisions of my life. I had absolutely nothing new lined up, and not even a plan for how to get things going, but it all worked out better than I could have hoped for. Cool to see things working out for you to. Congrats.
paisley jane
October 31st, 2004 at 11:44 pm
rock on!
i struggle with the “what im worth” deal in
my lil’ jewelry biz .
it’s so easy to sell yourself short
but im learning
congrats!!
sarah
November 1st, 2004 at 5:09 am
wonderful, dear! i might find myself in a similar situation in the next few months…only i dont have a huge city filled with possiblity. i have a small city that is not exactly progressive in my field of work. the job i just recently landed might be the best i can do for a while. but oh well, i had to start somewhere (yippe for first “real” jobs).
heidi wright
November 1st, 2004 at 12:16 pm
my best career moves have always been a result of NOT getting what i wanted–and initially being pretty unhappy it.
then out of the blue a fabulous opportunity would present itself that i was more than ready for, taking me to a whole new level.
i have had more doors open for me by *not* getting what i thought i wanted, then when i’ve gotten exactly what i asked for.
IMHO everything happens for a reason, sometimes that’s never more evident than when you break the rules or go against the grain and end up with far more than you expected.
allie
November 1st, 2004 at 12:38 pm
I’m with Heidi on this one, I think fate plays its card in weird ways sometimes! I’ve never been a very ambitious person, but fate has always found a way to reward me for lame jobs. I’ve been in a “boring but stable & pays relatively well” job for almost 4 years; now I have my own office, and might have talked my boss into letting me move into my own office in Manhattan soon.
Anyways, your patience was most definitely rewarded- it sounds like you will be much happier in your new job, which is AWESOME. Congrats!
leblanc
November 1st, 2004 at 2:37 pm
i’m hoping for similar luck sometime early in 2005. 5 years; no raise; no advancement + being a desk jockey is getting really stale. i’ve starting doing several test runs of my resume (still getting no responses), which is sort of thrilling in a really cheap way (silently sending out your resume from your desk at your current job), but i have no idea what i’ll do should one of those pan out.
yay for you!!!
Owen
November 1st, 2004 at 3:13 pm
Let the hidden woo-woo run amuck: This time of this particular year seems to be perfectly tuned for leaps into the great wide open. Stasis (both professional and personal) born of comfort and timidity is being shed from the lives of so many people right now that it almost _can’t_ be coincidence.
Of course, a pragmatic materialist would say that the current mood of expectation and anxiety in our national scene is probably creating the pressure that is impelling these decisions in so many individual lives. Regardless, it’s awe-inspiring to watch behavior-waves like this, no matter how exhillarating or distressing they may be unto themselves. They offer a promise of great power and motivation, if we can surf those currents towards your own ends.
(This is all feeling very Rob Breszny…)
I’m one of those floating on that same current right now, and am looking forward to fresh and wild waters after some time in the workaday doldrums. Good on you for providing an example of taking a risk and landing on your feet, Ariel. Vive la difference!
Katherine
November 1st, 2004 at 7:31 pm
ooooo - faboo! congrats! . . . how cool that you stood up for what felt true for you and did it pedal to the metal . . . and won!!! yay
Matt
November 2nd, 2004 at 12:49 pm
You are living the parallel life to me!
I love what I do too - just 3 months ago I had an article published, as I do from time to time, but this time I noticed a want ad from the publishers in the same issue and applied for it - with the perfect ammo to take in. I’ve been there two weeks and I love it so much I can’t believe it. I can’t wait to get there and I can’t bear to leave. Jobs aren’t supposed to be so much fun! I’m frightened I’ll wake up and it was all a dream.
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