I’ve been trying to stay very task focused lately, further efforts at maintaining some sort of momentum during this season of hibernation and generalized malaise. But I move in circles, looping around the apartment not getting much done at all. My goal yesterday was to finish up my book proposal. I got it all prepped and ready to finish — but didn’t actually finish it. It also took me three hours to sweep the bedroom and take out the trash, because I’m so distractible that on my way to fetch the broom I find myself making a pot of tea and shuffling piles of stuff around in the living room.

I try to give myself permission to have days like this (”It’s ok to spend three hours burning two CDs”), but I still get frustrated with myself. How many times can I check my email before realizing that oh look: I still haven’t taken out the trash? Nor do I have any new email.

I have a near constant internal dialogue going with myself about what I should be doing at any given moment. I’m really good at figuring out what needs to be done — not so good at the execution. I guess this makes me a natural manager. But it mostly just makes me feel distracted, ineffectual, and incompetent.

This, my friends, is why I don’t have a television. It’s hard enough for me to get anything done with my computer screen around. Adding another screen to the house would probably result in me forgetting how to urinate or tie my shoes.