I’ve been getting better at nailing my blurbs for the buzz bin … but my blurbometer was broken today, and everything kept coming out much dirtier than I intended. The resulting blurbs were too off-color for the context (the company I work for is owned by an international entertainment empire — as one troll so judiciously pointed out a few weeks ago). And sadly, as the copy editor explained, “The mouse hates cock.”

The Longest Yard
While watching this trailer, we started noticing a “drip drip drip” sound in the background. Then we realized that was the sound of our brains dribbling out through our nostrils from the sheer stupidity of the trailer. Now that those pesky brains have drained, we think we’ll watch the trailer again, and we’ll enjoy it this time!

Ghost Rider
Hotty McHotterson Eva Mendes has been cast to play Nic Cage’s love interest in this action flick. We are resisting the urge to make an “I gotcher longest yard right here, Ms. Mendes” joke right now. Oops: we failed. Stupid Nic Cage. He’s always stealing our girlfriends.

The Itty Bitty Titty Committee
You know what’s funny? Chances are pretty good that if it wasn’t the title of a new movie starring Elisha Cuthbert, we wouldn’t be allowed to talk about titties such committees here at [site].com. But now the floodgates have opened and we will talk of these titties itty bitties and their committee continuously. Ms Cuthbert, we salute you!