Years ago, over on Ernie’s site, I noticed that the first few comments to most of his posts looked like this:

First Post!!!
Posted by bob at 4:01

Hey Ernie, that’s funny! More importantly, first post!
Posted by joe at 4:01

FIRST POST!!!!!!!!1111
Posted by Mary at 4:02

Oh, ok, so I wasn’t first — but I was close!
Posted by Mary at 4:02

From there, the conversation would usually go on to discuss whatever Ernie had actually written about. But the first few posts were always just declarations of being the first few posts — inevitably with the person who thinks they’re first who’s not, and then feels the need to backtrack with the “oh, oops: not first post, I guess” follow-up.

I’ve started noticing this same phenomenon over on Heather’s photo comments. Heather typically gets 500+ comments for each photo she posts, but the first five or so are always about FIRST POST!!, and then after that point, maybe 50% of the comments relate to the photo posted. Many people seem to treat the comment area as a “Dooce Fans Message Board.” Since Heather doesn’t leave comments open on any text posts, people also tend to use the photo comments to talk about whatever written pieces she’s posted recently, going from there to just rambling about whatever. Heather seems to be fine with the community that’s sprung up around her photo comments — she better be, since she’s paying the bills to host these conversations (and some the comment threads are up in 1000+ range, outsizing even the most chatty of Metafilter threads).

…but I still have to ask: what the fuck is up with the “first post” thing? I seriously don’t get it. I can see the allure of being the first person to post something interesting. The first person to say “Oh, you feel jacked up after taking Excedrin for a headache and wondering why? Well, here: I’ll link to a page that explains that Excedrin has caffeine in it. Hence, answering your question. And doing it first!” That makes sense to me. There’s the feeling of pride in being the first person to provide a relevant, interesting response to the post.

But just shouting about how you’re first? I don’t get it. Seriously: can someone enlighten me? Is it akin to saying “I’m the #1 fan!”?