Since we left town last weekend, we’re sticking around this weekend to do some house projects. These include:

• Getting our inherited tiny fake pond up and running with a pump, filter, and fish.
• Putting up my hammock, which should be arriving any day now.
• Finally painting the trim in the living room (I’m thinking eggplant) and maybe even the hallway (pale orange).
• Initial preparations for ripping out wall and inserting french doors in my office.
• Firing up the ginormous grill for something tasty.

These projects will happen in-between sessions of binge drinking, mushroom taking, and orgy-hosting, just so I don’t lose any of my precious street cred.