Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about race. As a Northwest-born white middle-class American, the issue is all tangled up in political correctness, liberal guilt, and the fact that my hometown (Bainbridge Island) is notorious for being almost completely homogeneous. Sometimes, even just thinking about race makes me feel guilty, and that’s fucked up. It doesn’t help the issue that I once was accused of racism by a blog reader, because I included race in the description of someone who hit my car. I was trying to help draw a picture for readers; but instead I guess I was profiling. Ack!
All that aside, part of what I like about my new neighborhood is that it encourages me to keep thinking about these issues. Where-as ¾ of Seattle is known for being predominantly white, Southeast Seattle is known for being a total smorgasborg. It used to be mostly African Americans, but then African immigrants showed up, and then Asian immigrants starting moving in. And there’s also a strong Orthodox Jewish community, and all those damn gentrifying young white couples (oops, hee hee). As one friend joked (JOKED! ABOUT RACE!) the neighborhood’s got it all, with “buppies, yuppies, gangsters, rednecks, hos and pho.”
When I went to get my pedicure on Saturday, the shop was own and staffed by Vietnamese women. The customers included an Isreali, an African, several Vietnamese, and me. It was great to see the mishmash of accents, attitudes, and conversations. Watching the Vietnamese owner and the Isreali client haggle over the cost of a highlighting was particularly enlightening (you mean you can bargain with your hairdresser? I never knew!). When I came home to have dinner with my (white) mother and my (white) husband, I commented on the scene at the salon, and how much I enjoyed the people-watching.
Andreas commented that he had some misgivings. “People are just people,” he said. “It seems like a slippery slope to talk about how great it is that they’re different colors than you.”
Oh. Hmm. Maybe he’s right? Does this mean I’m just as much a racist as someone bitching about “the colored folks,” because I’m talking about enjoying diversity? That I should really just be color- and culture-blind and ignore the differences in color and accent and just assume that we’re all the same until proven otherwise? I’m not sure. He’s sort of got a point though: I’m still focusing on race, even if it’s positively. It’s a reverse bias, like someone saying “Oh I love gay men! All those boys on Queer Eye are just so sassy!” It may be positive, but it’s still a generalization. And generalizing and stereotyping are cousins, are they not?
Case in point: this article. (That’s a salon.com link — you may have to watch a free ad to read it.) The author debates this very issue with her sons. Interesting stuff.
It is by taking note of race and all that accompanies it — the assumptions, the stereotypes flying to and fro like flaming arrows — that we can achieve a transcendental compassion, a unifying respect for the power of experience. People are people, there’s no doubt about it, but you have to understand why things are the way they are. Not to take note of race or, more important, discuss it, would leave my sons in the dark.
Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, was published last year.
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karen
May 9th, 2005 at 10:04 am
This reminds me of my favorite exchanges from “Andy Richter Controls the Universe.”
Andy: Okay, smart guy. Jackie says she wants to celebrate our differences.
Byron: That sounds good.
Andy: But you said that we’re not supposed to see our differences.
Byron: We really shouldn’t.
Andy: How are we supposed to celebrate them if we can’t see them?
Byron: Well, I guess you’re just going to have to ignore as well as celebrate what makes Jackie exactly the same and completely different from everyone else.
Eric Sohn
May 9th, 2005 at 10:29 am
It’s not a terrible thing, really. You comment on the diversity because (I would hope) you recognize it as the kind of society you’d like to see. It’s not that different than mentioning that a new Thai restaurant, or a new boutique that had some cool togs, had opened up: it was part of your day, it was different, it made you happy.
Sure, one day, when all of life is like this, you will stop commenting - because it won’t be novel, or a nice change. But, for now, diversity is, for you, a good sign that you’re acknowledging.
No biggie - I’ve been “guilty” of it, too. I think the harm is when your observations become a routine. My sister, for example, is a very prominent lawyer who happens to be lesbian. But, everytime someone in the news or in culture is gay, she has to point it out. At that point, I say “enough!”
xaotica
May 9th, 2005 at 10:39 am
i don’t believe that being colorblind is beneficial, because a lot of the time it prohibits discussion. if the idea is that we’re all the same and it doesn’t matter, people are less likely to discuss how their culture influenced them.
Harry
May 9th, 2005 at 11:52 am
I recently went on a couple of dates with a black girl and whenever I ended up talking about her with my friends I’d always mention how she was smart or cute or whatever, but there would be this voice in my head that would wonder if it was OK to say that she was black. Should I have? Should I not have? Did it even matter? I kinda hated having these thoughts.
Emily
May 9th, 2005 at 12:07 pm
I don’t believe it’s possible to be truly color-blind within this culture of racism and racist institutions. I call bullshit on any American who thinks he or she is actually blind to people’s color.
That said, I think the best we all can do is acknowledge and rectify when we notice ourselves objectifying others according to their color (which includes stereotyping, culturally appropriating, and taking white privilege for granted). Basically, anti-racism is a continuous, peeling-back-the-layers process rather than destination point.
colisa
May 9th, 2005 at 12:51 pm
As a half-Japanese/half-Caucasian, Portland native, I appreciate that there IS diversity in the world. I think differences in race and culture are beautiful things, and from which we can learn about our fellow human beings.
Just because we notice differences doe not make us bad; it makes us more astute studiers of humanity. Yes, focusing on what we all have in common is good when there is hatred or bigotry going on — but ignoring what makes us different (whether it be race, religion, or what-have-you) is the easy and frightened way out.
To me, as long as you are looking at differences in a POSITIVE way, that is a wonderful thing. I am looking forward to showing my daughter her wonderful heritage, and what makes her both different from, and similar to, everyone else.
heidi janet
May 9th, 2005 at 12:59 pm
i agree with emily. but i think it goes beyond color and race.
i don’t know that any of us as human beings can avoid the visual cues that trigger generalizations based upon our experience and/or understanding.
don’t get me wrong, i think efforts that help level the playing field for races, genders, sexual orientation–have done a huge amount of good to inform and reduce ignorance to improve equality and sensitivty.
but an oversimplified part of me suspects we’re just wired to respond to visual cues and then make assumptions. maybe it’s some kind of knee-jerk survival mechanism in our reptilian brain…i don’t know.
a ridiculous (but true) example: in grade school i was tormented by a really mean girl named stacey that had brown permed hair and snapped her gum. to this day, if i am introduced to anyone named stacey and there is gum and/or big hair involved…i immediately dislike her. now if i was interviewing her, i would definitely make a strong effort to overcome my personal bias to make an objective decision. but still there’s a serious obstacle there.
maybe if over time i made the effort to meeting and interact with a lot of really nice gum-snapping stacey(s) i might overcome my bias.
point being, i think the only way to eliminate bias is to expose yourself to a diverse environment as much as possible. but not bothering to ackowledge that a bias exists in the first place makes it difficult to make this conscious effort.
James Slusher
May 9th, 2005 at 9:29 pm
As a man in an interracial marriage, I think acknowledging someone’s race is perfectly acceptable. It’s the drawing of lines between that and behaviors that is unacceptable. Saying that white people can’t do this or that or only like this or that is counter-productive. People of the same race have no problem comparing differences in hair or skin tone, don’t be afraid of it with people of other races. Assuming behaviors from race is what ends up following the old assumption rules.
To Harry: it’s perfectly fine to acknowledge her race. Is it necessary for the conversation is probably the test for whether it needs to be mentioned or not.
Nikki
May 10th, 2005 at 12:33 am
Of course its okay to talk about race, how can it not be? I SEE color, and so does everyone else.
It’s okay to say “hey, that girl over there has a smashingly good coat on.”
“Which girl?”
“The Bosnian girl talking to the redhead in the blue boots.”
A friend of mine who worked as a buyer for a shoe company told me areas with more black people stock and sell more size 11s, and neighborhoods with more Asian people sell more size 5s. Racist? Profiling? Stereotyping? Or a company that recognizes that people are different, and that they simply sell more shoes when they acknowledge this.
There are culteral differences - and denying them just robs people of their identity, history, and customs. If I had pretended my high school friend’s family was no different than me, I would never have learned how to wear a sari from her mother.
And its okay to mention someone’s race when they do something wrong. They don’t represent their race as the bad guy in your story, they just represent themselves. You might also mention their height, their size, their clothes, their attitude, their car. It just gives a better visual.
andreas
May 10th, 2005 at 10:08 am
By the way, I’m being quoted slightly out of context here, but that’s OK. I think it’s fine to aknowledge race and talk about it, etc., I was simply saying that it’s important to remember to treat people as individuals with their own unique set of attributes that makes them, them.
James Slusher
May 10th, 2005 at 2:12 pm
There you go. Being colorblind isn’t particularly helpful, being color-apathetic helps in a number of ways.
Robert Hume
May 10th, 2005 at 2:35 pm
All-white Bainbridge Island is certainly no stranger than all-White Latvia, or all-Asian China, or all-Black Mali or all-Arab Egypt. I think that it would be fair to say that most of the earth is as homogeneous as Bainbridge. The US is probably, generally, the most diverse place on earth.
So don’t feel bad; Bainbridge where you were born is typical of the earth. Presumably most people prefer it that way, since that is the way their ancestors evolved. Those who did not like it did not reproduce.
db
May 10th, 2005 at 7:53 pm
As a musician, it’s completely impossible for me to be color-blind, and I don’t view that as a bad thing. Black society made music what is is today, and my life is all the better for it. Even country & western, in all it’s forms, bears the touch of southern boogie- something you can bet our south-settling English forefathers didn’t come up with
art
May 11th, 2005 at 5:41 pm
“buppies, yuppies, gangsters, rednecks, hos and pho.”
This would be really funny if hos and pho rhymed.
leblanc
May 12th, 2005 at 11:09 am
this is a seriously complex subject, and “white guilt” is not only self-imposed but also imposed by a lot of other people and in a lot of forms.
it is tough - we’re supposed to celebrate diversity, but not talk about races? how is it possible to describe an African American friend (or girlfriend) without mentioning they’re black? isn’t that a huge part of who they are? why is it that something that is so visually apparent is supposed be ignored?
TREATING people differently b/c of their color is racist. ACKOWLEDGING that they are a different color is just describing a natural difference, and possibly cultural difference, depending on the person. why have we been taught that that is wrong? this is one issue where i think the left has swung way, way to far. race distinction is important to cultural and personal identity; it is not something to be ignored.
n.o.s.
May 12th, 2005 at 1:24 pm
“how is it possible to describe an African American friend (or girlfriend) without mentioning they’re black?â€
You could say she’s tall, beautiful, smart, funny, and an excellent roller skater. It’s certainly possible; moreover it’s easy unless you’re hung up on the fact that she’s black. I think it’s telling that the assumption is we wouldn’t and needn’t describe her as “white” if that’s what she is. Having said that, I don’t think so-called colorblindness would be a good thing, and I do agree that “color†would likely be a large part of said girlfriend’s identity (as it would be for a white girlfriend, though maybe not in a way that was as obvious to her or anyone else).
Citizen of the Month
May 25th, 2005 at 3:44 pm
First of all, great site and happy b-day. I found you by looking up Columbia publishing.
I think it’s great that you celebrate diversity. You would be dishonest to yourself if you just saw everyone as “just people.” Of course, everyone is, at heart, “just people,” but think how boring things would be if there weren’t differences. When you were saying that in the neighborhood — he’s black, he’s Jewish, etc., you were looking at it in a positive way. That’s good, not bad. I’m sure the black guy is looking at you like the white woman.
The one thing I sometimes see in people who’ve come from suburban all-white areas and then move to the city is that they sometimes do a reverse racism and look at “ethnics” as somehow more authentic than “white-bread” white people. I always found that a bit racist, as if they were using black/Asian/Latino people to help them escape something from their suburban past. We’re all different, but all the same. We all like Chinese food a lot and watch “American Idol.”