So we’re writing these starbios at work, and they’re more tedious than you might think. As I sat trying to come up with five things you gotta know about Hugh Grant, I could hear my fellow editors giggling and giggling. It got worse, developing into cackles. I finally had to bite (what the FUCK is going on over there?) and this was the copied IM conversation I got in response:

Editor: Ryan Fill a Pie
Other Editor: Renee Allwetter
Editor: Steve Shartin’
Other Editor: George Poop-ass
Other Editor: Gwyneth All-Ho
Editor: Sandra Bull Cock
Other Editor: NICE
Editor: Jake Fill ‘Em All
Other Editor: True to life.
Other Editor: Saggy Jismball
Editor: gross
Editor: Winona Ride Her, of course
Other Editor: NICE
Other Editor: Sam Jacks Son
Other Editor: John Bluesack
Editor: Johnny CocksVille
Editor: Reese Withered Poon, which we’ve mentioned
Other Editor: Yes
Editor: Robert Down on Me Jr.
Other Editor: Bobbin’ Williams
Editor: Josh Shart Wett
Other Editor: Gobblin’ Williams
Other Editor: Christopher Queef
Editor: Matt Lay Mon
Editor: rasta
Other Editor: Matt FillSon
Editor: Dic Rage
Other Editor: I’ll Rideja Wood
Other Editor: I’ll Rideja Good
Editor: Catherine ‘Batin’-Bones
Other Editor: Loose Willis
Other Editor: Michael Fuckass
Other Editor: Kirk Fuckass
Editor: Hugh Jacks Men
Other Editor: Yes. Yes, he does.
Other Editor: Alan Rimming
Other Editor: (twist!)
Editor: Julianne, More!
Other Editor: Makin’ Whoopi Goldberg
Editor: Clint Eats Wood
Other Editor: That’s great because it’s just an anagram!
Other Editor: Oliver’s Bone
Other Editor: Bustin’ Nuttman
Editor: Men Fill Washington
Editor: Christian Impale
Other Editor: Goldie Hawn’s spouse Hurt Butthole

Yes, I laughed. And then I had to share the joy.