I’m still adrift somewhere in the Bahamas. This cruise has been unlike any vacation I have ever taken. The level of service is so ridiculously high that the stateroom cleaners leave a new folded towel animal in my room every night. Tonight’s animal was a shy little dog, wearing the sunglasses I’d left laying on the floor. I squealed like a 3 year old when I walked in and saw it. Despite traveling alone and without children (a complete anomaly on this boat), I’m a little overexcitable. Oh, and the waitress who served my table every night only had to hear me ask for tea with milk and honey once before locking it into her mind and bringing me milky sweet tea every night after dinner. Andreas? Are you out there? Are you taking notes?

Seriously: I remember learning the Guest Service Cycle when I worked at the Disney Store, and I remember it as an awful, awful thing. Clearly, I was never meant to work in service or hospitality. I was meant to be a snarky, sloppy writer and leave the “guest services” to the experts, all of whome apparently work on this boat. There’s no possible way these people can get paid as much as they deserve for the level of coddling and serving and humoring they do for customers. I’ve done what I can to get over my guilt — I keep getting gently scolded for bussing my own table at lunch, or for trying to lift a finger to do anything. It’s weird and the sort of thing that would normally make me royally uncomfortable. But for four days? It’s been quite the experience. I can appreciate being pampered for four days.

I will have many pictures (and even some video) this weekend.