There used to be a really nice big family that lived in the house just south of ours. The kids used our driveway to get to the sidewalk, and the parents were always good for a nice hello. Then we stopped seeing them. After a couple months, we realized they must have moved out.

We rarely see the new neighbors. They keep the blinds closed, and have three cars out front. The one time I saw one of them getting into their car, he ignored me.

And then there are the visitors. Our neighbors have a steady stream of visitors who swing by for anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes. It’s usually in the evenings, especially on weekends. Sometimes they’re late visitors (I’m reminded of waking up one night to one of their visitors having an argument with her boyfriend via cell phone, while standing in front of our house), but we usually stop hearing the sound of car doors opening and closing sometime after midnight.

Then there are the smells that come from the house. Skunky. Then there was that one time we came home and saw a Jaguar parked in the driveway. These are not people with friends who drive Jags, folks.

So obviously our neighbors are dealing weed. And, from the looks of the traffic in front of their (and our) house, a lot of it. This is irksome to me, not because I have a problem with people selling weed (I’m all for decriminalization), but because they’re so fucking obvious about it. It’s like they picked up a law enforcement handbook on “Tips for identifying in-home drug dealers” and followed every single bullet point. (Frequent visits! Strange smells! Jaguars!) They’re an insult to understated drug dealers everywhere. But hey, at least it’s just weed and not coke or crack or speed. The steady stream of visitors are relatively quiet and laid-back.

But I remained irked that the neighbors are so bad about hiding what they’re doing. I’m tempted to go over there and say “Look, we all know what’s going on over here. Now, either share or stop being so obvious about it.” What’s a little extortion between neighbors?