Comments on: The memoirist’s curse http://electrolicious.com/2006/03/the_memoirists_curse Daily affirmations of a word mercenary Mon, 13 Oct 2008 12:56:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: carol http://electrolicious.com/2006/03/the_memoirists_curse#comment-6339 carol Thu, 25 May 2006 21:48:35 +0000 #comment-6339 Ariel, I'm 60 and an old hippie with a 25 year old daughter. I loved your story. I am often afraid to express my needs to my daughter because I don't want her to know me as weak or conflicted, but she does anyway. It is so wonderful how the seeds we plant turn into a different flower than we expected, more beautiful . Ariel,

I’m 60 and an old hippie with a 25 year old daughter. I loved your story. I am often afraid to express my needs to my daughter because I don’t want her to know me as weak or conflicted, but she does anyway. It is so wonderful how the seeds we plant turn into a different flower than we expected, more beautiful .

]]> By: Ariella http://electrolicious.com/2006/03/the_memoirists_curse#comment-6338 Ariella Fri, 31 Mar 2006 18:30:07 +0000 #comment-6338 Ariel, that is a lovely story. My mother passed away a little under a year ago, and I wish I had been there with her when she died. Although it may not seem like it, it is a gift to be able to tell your loved ones goodbye (estranged or not, because my family is mostly estranged). I wish you and your mother the best. Ariel, that is a lovely story. My mother passed away a little under a year ago, and I wish I had been there with her when she died. Although it may not seem like it, it is a gift to be able to tell your loved ones goodbye (estranged or not, because my family is mostly estranged).

I wish you and your mother the best.

]]> By: amy.leblanc http://electrolicious.com/2006/03/the_memoirists_curse#comment-6336 amy.leblanc Tue, 28 Mar 2006 19:43:24 +0000 #comment-6336 i think you should feel lucky that you are comfortable in publishing/sharing these types of things, these sacred, secret types of things, while your mother is still alive. it signifys that you have a deep understanding with eachother that you ARE each your own person, and that your life is just as valid as hers-not dependent on, not shadowed by. you are also lucky that she is here now for you while you write, instead of you waiting years and her being gone and you having only your memory. your writing of her has so much emotion and life now, because of it, and i think that goes for everyone in your life who you may write about in your novel, or here - capture them now, do it with love, and they will appreciate it. i think you should feel lucky that you are comfortable in publishing/sharing these types of things, these sacred, secret types of things, while your mother is still alive. it signifys that you have a deep understanding with eachother that you ARE each your own person, and that your life is just as valid as hers-not dependent on, not shadowed by. you are also lucky that she is here now for you while you write, instead of you waiting years and her being gone and you having only your memory. your writing of her has so much emotion and life now, because of it, and i think that goes for everyone in your life who you may write about in your novel, or here - capture them now, do it with love, and they will appreciate it.

]]> By: Kari http://electrolicious.com/2006/03/the_memoirists_curse#comment-6331 Kari Sat, 25 Mar 2006 15:58:11 +0000 #comment-6331 I think it's more important to be true to your own perceptions of reality than to the people you're writing about. The fact is, the experiences you had shape who you are, and life is perception anyway. My siblings and I lived through many of the same things and continue to have markedly different takes on them. Each of us is unique and from what I've heard about your mother, she will eventually be proud that you are strong enough to come up with your own independent assessment of your life. Write on! I think it’s more important to be true to your own perceptions of reality than to the people you’re writing about. The fact is, the experiences you had shape who you are, and life is perception anyway. My siblings and I lived through many of the same things and continue to have markedly different takes on them. Each of us is unique and from what I’ve heard about your mother, she will eventually be proud that you are strong enough to come up with your own independent assessment of your life. Write on!

]]> By: donut http://electrolicious.com/2006/03/the_memoirists_curse#comment-6333 donut Wed, 22 Mar 2006 17:21:08 +0000 #comment-6333 Very interesting post. I think this is an obstacle all writers must overcome to some degree, but most particularly memoirists and "personal essay" types. My mother doesn't have the slightest idea what my novel is about, but she has made me swear up and down that it isn't about her - not even a little bit, not even in a coded way that would allow her friends to speculate that I might be talking about her. I've done my best to follow her wishes, as I have no desire to disrespect or upset my mother, but it's hard to be sure nothing has slipped through the cracks. I tried to circumvent the problem by killing off my protagonist's mother on pg8 - hopefully that will be enough. Very interesting post. I think this is an obstacle all writers must overcome to some degree, but most particularly memoirists and “personal essay” types.

My mother doesn’t have the slightest idea what my novel is about, but she has made me swear up and down that it isn’t about her - not even a little bit, not even in a coded way that would allow her friends to speculate that I might be talking about her. I’ve done my best to follow her wishes, as I have no desire to disrespect or upset my mother, but it’s hard to be sure nothing has slipped through the cracks. I tried to circumvent the problem by killing off my protagonist’s mother on pg8 - hopefully that will be enough.

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