Who needs a little distraction from thoughts of deep facial lacerations and head trauma? You, too? Ok! How about a 3:30 1MB .wav file of my reading from last week’s Salon of Shame? It picks up at Step 2* of my “Tips for giving a nice blowjob” written in 1993. Listen. And thanks to Twozdai for the recording!

Oh, and just so you know? People weren’t laughing at me — they were mostly laughing at Pam Parham, the amazing interpreter who was rocking the sign language. Before I began my reading, I told the audience not to bother watching me, but to keep an eye on Pam. After step 3, you hear me remind them, “Like I said: watch her.” Now if only I’D been able to see her!

*Step 1 was merely “Take your time.”