Daily affirmations of a word mercenary
Here’s my tangential question: are inside jokes actually funny? Or is the humor simply the giddiness of exclusion? My college best friend/roommate and I used to speak what was almost our own language, a stoner liberal arts patois peppered with weighted nouns like “bane” and multisyllabic forms of the word “dude” that turned into the word into an expressive melismatic opus. Up and then down, ending on a puntuative “… uuude!”
Our language was rapid fire. We reached a point where we could actually speak at the same time and keep track of the conversation.
… we were also intolerable to hang out with. Our own entertainment was at the expense of accessibility. No one knew what the fuck we were saying, and all we talked about were the cool things we did just the two of us. Remember that one trip? That one time? That one day? Oh HA HA HA! That was hilarious. Here, we’ll tell you all about it …
Where-as the joy of sharing a popular culture joke is the inclusion (we can all laugh at public jokes like Paris Hilton and Ted Haggard), the sharing of these inside jokes was less about humor, and more about us laughing at the fact that no-one but us knew how hilarious we were. “Remember that one time in Joshua Tree with the red pen on my finger?” That is not a joke! That’s a shared experience that we could rub in the faces of everyone around us — WE knew what we were talking about, did you?
In this way, inside jokes are less like comedy and more like elitism. But then there’s Andreas and my inside jokes, where one of us will reference something, and we’ll both laugh and then say “What’s that from, anyway? Didn’t you start doing that in 1999 or something? Do you remember why? … me neither.”
Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, was published last year.
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Denise
February 13th, 2007 at 10:31 am
Maybe those “remember the time…” jokes are a bit exclusive, but I prefer the kind of inside jokes you and Andreas have. They aren’t meant to be exclusive, but it just happens that no one else was there when it became funny, and explaining the circumstances around it to others is way too much work for a little comedy. I think half the reason I’ll never leave my boyfriend is that I don’t want to have to explain all those fun inside jokes to a new person to make them funny again. Okay, okay, maybe not half. 25% ?
amy
February 13th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
Inside jokes are one of the great joys of life — they can help cement a relationship, a group of friends, a community… That said, they should never be aired in front of outsiders. It’s just rude to make jokes other people have no hope of getting.
Sean Shannon
February 13th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
I think inside jokes are as natural a development in a community as turns of phrases or new words. I don’t think they’re anything more than the natural development of any self-identified group, although I do think that, in the presence of people outside of that group, people need to pay more attention to the phrases they use to make sure that other people “get” what they are saying.
That being said, these days I feel like all that exist in the universe these days are inside jokes, and that I don’t get any of them.
KG
February 13th, 2007 at 6:21 pm
I agree! Inside jokes are one of the great joys of life — between or amongst the people who are in on them. I love the phrase, “Speaking each other’s unspoken language.” It’s so delicious to look over at a friend, have a psychic email with each other about an inside joke, start laughing hysterically in unison, then give each other a few codewords just to make sure we are indeed laughing about the same thing, and that find out, of course, YES, WE ARE!!!
Successful (public) comedy taps into not only shared cultural train wrecks (like Hilton and Haggard) but a shared human experience. Think of “Cringe” and your own readings in Seattle — these are the ultimate in personal readings, but they are incredibly INCLUSIVE. They celebrate common experience, so everyone can be in on them. By reading them aloud, they move from the inside joke with oneself to one that everyone can laugh at. That’s also why only the really brave with really strong egos can share bits of themselves and laugh along with those laughing at and with them.