Daily affirmations of a word mercenary
I’ll be in New York next week! If you’re there, I hope you’ll come to my reading in Brooklyn on Saturday, March 3rd or maybe to Cringe on Wednesday, March 7th.
Andreas, meanwhile, will be in scuba diving in Bali next week. If this east/west separate spouses travel plan gives you a WTF?! moment, you’re not alone. Even our closest friends are like, “Wait, one of you is going on a tropical vacation and the other one isn’t? Buh?” Dre and I are pretty independent, but this is definitely a little extreme even for us. Here’s how it all went down:
A crew of friends started organizing a trip to Bali last fall. Dre was immediately into going, while I looked at the timing and wasn’t sure how it would work with book promotions. I stalled for as long as I could before Andreas was like “Dude, are we going or what!?” and I finally had to balk and say that it just didn’t seem like the right time for me to leave the country. I’m paying for all my book tour travels out of pocket, and the prospect of trying to swing an international vacation with several domestic trips just wasn’t feasible financially.
I also knew I’d get burned out and exhausted from all the traveling, and that I’d have trouble enjoying myself in Bali because I’d spend the whole time thinking about my book and trying to compulsively check my email. I don’t do this because I have to — I do this because I love it. Tropical vacations are great for escaping from the ho-hum of daily life, but when your shit is in high gear and you’re all excited about it, the last think you want to do is escape it.
So no: I wouldn’t go. But Andreas isn’t promoting a book right now, and is a consummate traveler who’s been stuck in the USA for several years, and why should I keep him from going a trip with a big crew of our friends just because I don’t want to go? It’s not that I couldn’t go — I just knew myself well enough to know that the timing wasn’t quite right for my brain. But the timing for Dre was just fine, so of course he should go, right?
(In the middle of all this I got laid off and was like “Holy fuck, I’m SO GLAD I’m not staring an international vacation in the face while I’m on unemployment.”)
I did have a brief flash of sadness and I realized it wasn’t being jealous of Andreas going to Bail (I made the choice not to go) but that there was some sort of “I don’t want him having fun if I’m not there” response which, HELLO: ew. I’m a solipsistic only child, but even I balk at that level of selfishness. I may be a narcissistic asshole sometimes, but I am NOT enough of an asshole to keep my favoritiest person from having a wonderful vacation just because I’m busy with other stuff. Picture that: me keeping him home so that I can run around and blabber about my book?
That said, I didn’t want to sit at home clacking away on book stuff while Andreas was gone, so I timed my East Coast trip during the time he’s gone. So now I have my own kind of wonderful vacation trip coming up, in exactly my flavor: a trip to two cities where I have many beloved old friends to see and meetings to have and business dealings to finagle and Cringe readings to do and books to pitch and reality television producers to chat up and a bazillion other things to do. While drinking cocktails in the Balinese sand sounds wonderful, for right now a trip to New York is exactly my brand of heaven.
And so this, to me, is what love is really about: wanting what’s best for your partner (him: bali! me: new york!) and being excited and tickled to see your beloved go off and do their thang while you go off and do yours, knowing that when it’s all over, you get to reunite and combine inspiration superpowers and take over the entire world with your creepy happy cult. That said, he will be the tanner cult-leader, that’s for sure.
Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, was published last year.
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Cristen
February 22nd, 2007 at 2:50 am
Why does it feel like everything in the world is happening March 3rd or 11th, when I already have plans. Silly anniversaries of friends births!
*I* am jealous of Dre going to Bali! But I am glad I’m no the only one who feels that sometimes you just have to let your spouse be happy, even if it means being separate every now and then. I always feel like we have to do our own things from time to time instead of being compulsively together.
Erin
February 22nd, 2007 at 4:40 am
I think you - and Cristen above - are so right on. That separate, independent from your spouse time is crucial in my own relationship.
That said - I wish you were coming to Boston!
Sean Shannon
February 22nd, 2007 at 9:10 am
I don’t suppose there’s any chance of you doing a book reading somewhere around the Toledo area, is there? :/
Liz
February 22nd, 2007 at 10:59 am
Oh man, I’m even missing the NY stuff! Bummer! Wish I could be there
tlc
February 22nd, 2007 at 12:18 pm
I don’t think there’s anything strange about that. What would be strange is if you took every trip together!
lily
February 22nd, 2007 at 3:57 pm
well, i will miss you while we are in Bali anyway! i wish you were going, but i know you’ll be promoting away in NY!
ps - i’ll make sure Dre buys cool stuff for you AND i won’t let him drown while we attempt scuba diving.
Sara
February 26th, 2007 at 10:17 pm
Great post! My guy went to Mexico for a week and while some sun and sand would’ve done me the world of good, I had to stay home and work.
And whaddaya know — it was great! I worked, I chilled, I shopped, I watched chick flicks, I sewed, and it was awesome.
I fully support the (temporary) separation of the spouses.
Enjoy NYC! Hope you don’t get snowed on!