Dear Entire World,
In my attempt to do absolutely everything, it’s become increasingly clear that I actually can’t. This means I’m screwing things up left and right because there’s too much on my plate. If I owe you an email, phone call, Salon of Shame ticket, birthday party attendance, bill payment, article, book proposal, or thank you gift, I apologize. Please be patient with me as I recalibrate my life to accommodate the fact that despite my best intentions, I can’t actually do it all.
Thanks,
Ariel

UPDATE: Oh and great, now I’m sick! How utterly predictable.