After my reading last night in Brooklyn (which was even more fun than my book release in Seattle, perhaps because I had fewer logistics ie penis cakes to juggle) I was headed home in a car full of women. We pulled up alongside another car which was oddly double parked. As we waited for the light, we noticed that the woman driving the double parked car was on her cell phone ripping someone a new asshole.

“I DON’T FUCKING CARE!” she mouthed. “No, FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!” She was getting more worked up, and the fact that we could hear nothing but understand every word through two cars’ worth of glass should express just how violently this woman was spittling into her phone.

after a pause we saw her mouth, “FUCK YOU!” AGAIN.

In the back seat, my friend Nikki sighed and said, “Looks like someone’s expectations aren’t being met…”