Is the arc of your life somewhat planned or is it as random as it appears. By this I mean, so many moves and job changes etc. Conversely, what are the unchanging elements that mean the most to you?

This is an awesome question. It’s odd to think of my life as seeming random because I am an obsessive planner when it comes to day to day things. I used to be a fan of 5 year plans, but honestly … I’ve had trouble with those lately because some life simply doesn’t go according to your plan and it can be very, VERY frustrating for a premeditated type like myself. In fact, it’s actually sort of nice to hear that my life looks random because it suggests that maybe I’m better at going with the flow than I feel like I am.

Then again, some of the randomness is just a factor of the blog format —

… especially with the job stuff. Of course I can’t blog about job changes before they happen, so Electrolicious readers are inevitably the last to know. Naturally, this means that one minute y’all have no idea, and the next minute I’m announcing that I’ve gotten a new position and am starting on Monday. (For the record: I’m totally not looking for work right now since I’ve got the sweet 3 day/week gig. And I’m not just saying that.)

In actuality, usually I’ve been mulling the decision for months, consulting with trusted advisors about whether it would be smart, networking with people to find a new job, etc. But all y’all see is “Surprise! I’m starting a new gig!”

Sometimes I’ll write about the process in hindsight, but I tend to avoid even that because I don’t like burning bridges with previous employers. Despite this, I will acknowledge that I’ve got a history of skipping around jobs with relative frequency — every 18 months or so on average. I think this is for a lot of reasons:

1. I work in the tech industry, where such frequent moves are not uncommon
2. Historically I was a contractor so got used to shorter stints
3. I get bored/frustrated easily
4. My skills are in demand enough that it’s often relatively easy for me to skip over to something new when a job stops making me happy
5. I burn out and get claustrophobic, feeling like I don’t have the freedom to take the time I need to work on other stuff
6. I’m fickle, in work and friendships both

I was actually talking to my current boss about this just yesterday. Because I work only 25 hrs/week at my current job, it feels more sustainable than any permanent gig I’ve ever had. I can actually see myself staying there for a couple years (I KNOW! A COUPLE YEARS!!) because I have so much freedom in my schedule to pursue my own projects. And with a four-day weekend every weekend, I don’t get that claustrophobic feeling.

As far as the moving thing, I blame Andreas. HA! Not really, but two of our biggest moves were for him: we moved to Olympia in 2000 because he need to go to school. We moved to LA in 2002 because he wanted to work there. Then again, I went to NYC in 2001 of my own accord. And the moving in-city has been driven by both of us.

Again: it’s really funny for me to think of my life as seeming so random and hodge-podge because I’m such a planner and stability junkie.

These are the unchanging things I need to feel comfortable:

  • I need to have a solid living situation with my name on the lease or the mortgage.
  • I need a quiet, private place to sleep and just be.
  • I need to have my stuff near me, and I need to know what’s where.
  • I need to know that there’s money coming in and that all bills are paid on time
  • I need constant connectivity to the world via phone, email, and web.
  • I need my parents’ emotional support.
  • And most of all, I need my Andreas.

This is all to say, home is where the Andreas is, but also home is where the Internet, quiet bed, privacy, and lots of alone time are, too.

My life might seem relatively random and full of happenstance decisions, but compared to some of the true vagabonds I know and love (Dori comes to mind most immediately, as does my friend Rara), I am staid and completed immutable.

I can’t drift across state-lines. I can’t live out of a van. I can’t buy a one-way plane ticket. I can’t stick my stuff in storage and leave it behind. I can’t survive without personal space. I can’t live in a tipi in Northern California. I can’t just trust that the universe will provide. I can’t sleep if it’s loud. I’m sort of jealous of those who can, because I absolutely cannot.

I always have an income. I have a mortgage. I have a husband. I have a car. I have a dog. I like to stay in Seattle, and if I leave it’s really only a matter of time before I come back. I’m actually sort of bad at traveling because I can only take so much new-ness before I get exhausted and need to get home to the familiar. I’m pretty rigid in my life, actually, and get inconsolably crabby if I feel ungrounded or uprooted.

Yes, I change jobs frequently. But I always have money coming in and I’m always working in the same industry (web/tech/media) and the same general job titles (editor, writer). These are all 9-to-5 desk jobs, even if now it’s a 9-to-5 Tues-Wed-Thurs.

Yes, I’ve moved an average of once a year for the last decade, but always with my partner and always to a place where I have lots of my own space for my only child self-rocking and wall-staring.