Daily affirmations of a word mercenary
Is the arc of your life somewhat planned or is it as random as it appears. By this I mean, so many moves and job changes etc. Conversely, what are the unchanging elements that mean the most to you?
This is an awesome question. It’s odd to think of my life as seeming random because I am an obsessive planner when it comes to day to day things. I used to be a fan of 5 year plans, but honestly … I’ve had trouble with those lately because some life simply doesn’t go according to your plan and it can be very, VERY frustrating for a premeditated type like myself. In fact, it’s actually sort of nice to hear that my life looks random because it suggests that maybe I’m better at going with the flow than I feel like I am.
Then again, some of the randomness is just a factor of the blog format —
… especially with the job stuff. Of course I can’t blog about job changes before they happen, so Electrolicious readers are inevitably the last to know. Naturally, this means that one minute y’all have no idea, and the next minute I’m announcing that I’ve gotten a new position and am starting on Monday. (For the record: I’m totally not looking for work right now since I’ve got the sweet 3 day/week gig. And I’m not just saying that.)
In actuality, usually I’ve been mulling the decision for months, consulting with trusted advisors about whether it would be smart, networking with people to find a new job, etc. But all y’all see is “Surprise! I’m starting a new gig!”
Sometimes I’ll write about the process in hindsight, but I tend to avoid even that because I don’t like burning bridges with previous employers. Despite this, I will acknowledge that I’ve got a history of skipping around jobs with relative frequency — every 18 months or so on average. I think this is for a lot of reasons:
1. I work in the tech industry, where such frequent moves are not uncommon
2. Historically I was a contractor so got used to shorter stints
3. I get bored/frustrated easily
4. My skills are in demand enough that it’s often relatively easy for me to skip over to something new when a job stops making me happy
5. I burn out and get claustrophobic, feeling like I don’t have the freedom to take the time I need to work on other stuff
6. I’m fickle, in work and friendships both
I was actually talking to my current boss about this just yesterday. Because I work only 25 hrs/week at my current job, it feels more sustainable than any permanent gig I’ve ever had. I can actually see myself staying there for a couple years (I KNOW! A COUPLE YEARS!!) because I have so much freedom in my schedule to pursue my own projects. And with a four-day weekend every weekend, I don’t get that claustrophobic feeling.
As far as the moving thing, I blame Andreas. HA! Not really, but two of our biggest moves were for him: we moved to Olympia in 2000 because he need to go to school. We moved to LA in 2002 because he wanted to work there. Then again, I went to NYC in 2001 of my own accord. And the moving in-city has been driven by both of us.
Again: it’s really funny for me to think of my life as seeming so random and hodge-podge because I’m such a planner and stability junkie.
These are the unchanging things I need to feel comfortable:
This is all to say, home is where the Andreas is, but also home is where the Internet, quiet bed, privacy, and lots of alone time are, too.
My life might seem relatively random and full of happenstance decisions, but compared to some of the true vagabonds I know and love (Dori comes to mind most immediately, as does my friend Rara), I am staid and completed immutable.
I can’t drift across state-lines. I can’t live out of a van. I can’t buy a one-way plane ticket. I can’t stick my stuff in storage and leave it behind. I can’t survive without personal space. I can’t live in a tipi in Northern California. I can’t just trust that the universe will provide. I can’t sleep if it’s loud. I’m sort of jealous of those who can, because I absolutely cannot.
I always have an income. I have a mortgage. I have a husband. I have a car. I have a dog. I like to stay in Seattle, and if I leave it’s really only a matter of time before I come back. I’m actually sort of bad at traveling because I can only take so much new-ness before I get exhausted and need to get home to the familiar. I’m pretty rigid in my life, actually, and get inconsolably crabby if I feel ungrounded or uprooted.
Yes, I change jobs frequently. But I always have money coming in and I’m always working in the same industry (web/tech/media) and the same general job titles (editor, writer). These are all 9-to-5 desk jobs, even if now it’s a 9-to-5 Tues-Wed-Thurs.
Yes, I’ve moved an average of once a year for the last decade, but always with my partner and always to a place where I have lots of my own space for my only child self-rocking and wall-staring.
Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, is in bookstores now.
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Catie
November 15th, 2007 at 10:41 am
Just one look at those meticulous braids tells a lot about your need for stability and what not.
p.s. I’m new to the most awesome world of Ariel and I’m enjoying reading these FAQs.
Amber
November 15th, 2007 at 11:17 am
Much nodding throughout this post because I’m an only child (& am married to one), too.
amber
November 15th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
ah, i can so relate to this! i’ve moved every year (if not more than that) for the past 10 years. i also moved a lot as a kid (with the family, or bath and forth from one parent to another).
i too have had many jobs. i bore easily…and i’m interested in many things. too bad i’m not usually interested in my jobs
again, i’m a planner….i even started an “organizing” company (see the url i’m linked too).
but, from the outside i think i may look like a random mess, but like you…there is a reason and purpose for my fickleness. the thing is, no matter what i end up doing, it’s always better than the last thing (and pays more, yay!). i just somehow land on my feet no matter what. maybe it’s because i plan things down to the most annoying detail….
soooo, after that tangent, my point is:
i understand, and i don’t think you’re random. i think you like change to a point, but you’re still very grounded.
i can’t wait to watch all the changes to follow
**muah**
anmber
Alyce
November 15th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
I’m enjoying them, too.
It’s an interesting insight into what appears to instability or randomness just on the face of things. Of course pink hair does not equal roustabout. Not knowing you, I don’t know that I would have gotten that take without you laying it out.
Ack! I’m so superficial.
Vera
November 15th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
I’m the same about my stuff. I can never leave behind my stuff for long. I could never couch-surf. I think this need for groundedness might be a Taurus trait.
dori
November 15th, 2007 at 9:52 pm
vagabond dori here, lol - and no, my life is definitely not for everyone (despite the fact that especially right now i know a LOT of people who live like i do - and i think i’d like a yurt instead of a teepee right now, as it’s raining here in norcal). but, believe it or not i also like being grounded - i just have to find other ways to do it, and uprooting yourself is NEVER easy whether you’re a mortgage-payer or a vagabond. i thrive on change, however, and enjoy the empowerment i derive from being able to accept change and find balance and groundedness even in the most foreign situations - despite a bit of periodic whining (and groundedness, i maintain as a taurus moon, does NOT require “my stuff” - tho even us vagabonds have “my stuff” - just a lot less of it, generally - my possessions fit in a chevy blazer). no it isn’t for everyone, but that’s in part, some of the point for me - SOMEONE has to do it, right?
April
November 15th, 2007 at 10:55 pm
This is very interesting. I am an only child too and I recognize a lot of myself in you. I tried traveling in Europe a couple of years ago (one-way ticket, backpack, everything in storage, etc.) and after a couple of weeks I was not not not happy. I need stability! And alone time. I wonder if these are only child traits?
dori
November 16th, 2007 at 10:52 am
i’d wager to say “alone time” is DEFINITELY an only-child trait, lol - during busy season i live with at least 10 people and it’s grueling to say the least…
i’m not so sure i’d attribute the rest of it to being an only child, however, as i’m also one of those - i’ve can’t even remember how many times i’ve changed addresses, headed off to central america or across the country or stored stuff in the past five years, lol…
chasmyn
November 16th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Wow, I had no idea how alike we are - I am the same way with what I need for security - all of those same things - although I don;t have to be the one bringing in the money, there just needs to be a steady, stable source. Everything else, same.
Brodie
November 23rd, 2007 at 9:35 pm
Hi,
Thanks for taking the time to answer my question. What fun!
I like the answer and somehow it does run a bit counter to the general perception a reader might have. But I can see it I think. The alone time thing/ know where my stuff is I can relate to , as well as the webernets. This type of need either becomes a real issue or goes away when the kids show up.
But that was my other question, the one that I didn’t ask…ha.
thanks again.