Daily affirmations of a word mercenary
Dance classes can mess with my head.
For those who don’t know this part of my history, I spent most of middle and high school doing community theater. Mostly musicals. A lot of singing and dancing. I started college as a musical theater major with a vocal scholarship in Boston and lasted one semester before I bailed on the whole scene. Why I bailed may be another post for another day. Anyway, haven’t done formal singing or dancing since.
Two years ago I started going to NIA classes, standing in the back, of course. Having spent most of my 20s dancing at raves instead of studios, all the mirrors felt odd. They signaled the difference between dancing for how it feels vs. dancing for how it looks. Suddenly, I could see myself dancing again instead of just imagining how it might look. I wasn’t sure if I liked what I saw.
NIA’s choreography is intentionally easy, though … so it wasn’t long before I remembered all my dance classes from childhood, got used to the mirrors, figured out what I was doing and started slowly sifting forward in the studio. After a few months, I was up near the teacher in the front row, subconsciously showing her and the rest of the class just how awesome I was. Check me out!, I danced. I know these steps and I look awesome, thank you very much.
Then, about a year ago, this young woman started coming to class and triggering me.
It was super fucked up and revealed infinitely more about my issues than anything she was doing. Despite being a new student, she was clearly a trained dancer and was immediately right up front at class, dancing bigger than the teacher. She was very, very skilled. She kept her eyes locked on her reflection through the entire class, dancing with herself in the mirror and liking what she saw. Somehow her very presence made me feel competitive. OH YEAH, I kept thinking to myself, WELL, I CAN DO THAT TOO, MISS SHOW-OFFY. Then I’d try dancing harder and prettier and better than her. It sort of reminded me of high school, really.
God: ICK!
I don’t know if it makes things better or worse to say that I wasn’t the only person being triggered by this new student. That either means she was radiating a competitive vibe intentionally, or else that I’m not the only one prone to petty jealousy and nasty resentment. So ok: She irked me, but even worse was knowing that my irkedness was alll about me. Obviously, her showy-ness was bugging me because, well, I was being showy too. Seeing myself in that was deeply uncomfortable. I tried getting over it and just couldn’t. During class I couldn’t help but stare at her.
Ew. Ick. I decided the only solution (other than not coming to class any more) was to dance at the back of the studio, where I literally couldn’t see her, and where all my show-offy reflexes were completely quashed. If my own showy mind-fucks were giving me grief, I would banish myself to the back of the classroom where I was invisible, just like I’d been in all those pitch black warehouses. I would force myself to stop caring about how it all looked and get back into dance as a sensation.
So, back to the back I went and AHA! True nirvana was found! In the back of the studio I could keep my eyes closed half the time and dance in my own bubble. It felt easier to deviate from the choreography because I had nothing to the prove to the teachers or my fellow students. Woo! Just Ariel, quietly getting her freak on in the back of the studio! While at clubs I’m known for dancing at the front right speaker, at NIA I stick to the back left corner.
And then I started taking this new dance class: Bottom Heavy Funk. HA! Most hilarious title ever, and if it strikes you as stupid then you would hate the class. I guess Jazz Funk would be another way of describing the style — or Really Fun Music Video-Style Street Cheeze. That might describe it, too.
Love the teacher (this is her, although she’s doing modern there), love the music, love the routines … but man I suck. I mean, I get it: I’m new. I haven’t done choreographed dance in 15 years. But on the routine we’re working on now, I lasted exactly one 8-count before getting completely lost. Three weeks of working on it, and I get the rhythm of certain sections, but canNOT nail the footwork, have no crispness at all, and am miles away from thinking about style.
The 17 year old me in my brain is mortified.
Naturally, I put myself in the back of the studio. NO CLUE, not gonna be in front where everybody can see the no clue-ness. Only showy girls who know all the moves go in the front.
… But after stumbling through a full class where I couldn’t see what I was trying to learn, I realized that with choreographed dance, you have to be up front or else you miss half the instruction.
The back of the studio was all the really well experienced dancers who didn’t need as much help, and sometimes even helped the teacher count out her street moves as she translated them to choreography. It was so confusing and I was completely lost. Hidden and safe, but lost.
I realized the only way to see the moves I was trying to learn was to sift up to the front of class. I had to be all sucky for all to see.
Oh man that shit is deeply humbling.
And oh man, is it totally awesome!
I might have gained public speaking skills and an uncanny ability to fake confidence from doing theater in high school, but I’m also oddly broken and brain-twisted about performing in some ways. I think it’s from having done so much singing and dancing during a deeeeeeply insecure time in my life. Now singing and dancing are always a little tied up in weird adolescent navel gazing and freaking out. I have this weird left-over neurosis that if you can’t do your shit WELL, you should just get off the stage. Hence: me never going to karaoke nights.
But I’m starting to learn the value of doing it poorly and visibly and spastically, right up where everyone can see you, just for the education and fun of it. I’m totally struggling in Bottom Heavy Funk, but it’s super fun and I’m trying to get over my weird performance hang-ups.
Because of Bottom Heavy Funk, I switched Unplugged night from Wednesday to Tuesday. So I get home from work, putter around for a bit, and then it’s off to class to step-ball-change with my weird performer brain demons from the early ’90s.
Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, is in bookstores now.
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Mary T
April 10th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Very cool post. I had a similar experience in yoga last week — the prior week I’d “hidden” in the back. Then last week I moved up a bit (I don’t really care if someone sees my big butt in yoga; I figure most are way too busy concentrating on what they’re doing). And what a light went on: Gee, when I can actually see the teacher, I actually do what I’m supposed to be doing! That was cool.
Now I have to check out NIA; it sounds great.
shelley
April 10th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
I agree, a really fine post.
Bottom Heavy Funk sounds most excellent.
Kelly
April 11th, 2008 at 12:10 am
That video was so very… yes.
Dance! Fight! Push! Swing!
Thanks for writing and sharing.
P.s, I am kelly, and I like your blog.
terrell
April 11th, 2008 at 8:41 am
My tap dance class is totally humbling. I’ve taken jazz, ballet, salsa, and hip hop and I thought I’d put those shoes on and my feet would just know what to do. But NO. I can barely walk in those things!
Because I’m short, my fellow classmates make me stand up right in front so I don’t really have a choice.
Great post as usual.
Elli
April 11th, 2008 at 8:46 am
I wonder if show-offy girl was really exuding a competitive vibe or whether she was just confident and self-possessed enough to seem so. I meet a lot of people like this, and they always make me feel competitive too.
Nikki
April 11th, 2008 at 10:11 am
I swim everyday, and I get super competitive with anyone who dares get in the pool at the same time. I have to force myself to not race the other swimmers and just focus on my own workout. I swam competitively as a kid, and I was pretty fast then, so I blame childhood. But I can go much farther much faster than when I started because of my freakness, so it works out.
amy.leblanc
April 11th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
i battled some of the same things when i first started really getting into hooping and we do hooping indoors with the mirrors. new awesome young hot hooper girl shows up, intently practices her awesome moves, doesn’t need help or instruction = sudden feelings of competition. couldn’t just stand in the back and lazily hoop … i would feel compelled to hoop my ass off or not hoop at all, so i’d hoop crazy for 5-7 minutes and then sit down, instead of hooping slowly but constantly for a longer period. after a while though, when i no longer cared about being a great hooper in the eyes of others, that stopped happening.
i never did theatre or anything as a teen, and have only started dong anything even remotely performance like (hooping not included), and now that i have a little bit of that experience i do have some of that “if you can’t do your shit WELL, you should just get off the stage.” feeling about everything related to the type of performances that i do, INCLUDING dancing in a dark warehouse.
it kinda sucks.
Leah
April 11th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Nicely done. I too have felt irked by the competitive people…and then realized that what was setting me off is that they were reflecting back a part of myself I didn’t like. So, back to the back for me too, and wow, what a difference.
kim
April 11th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
this sort of thing is a very interesting 5-minute psychoanalysis. when i go to nia, or yoga, or any of those classes, i try to keep my mind on whatever they’re teaching. but when my mind wanders, the first thing it goes to is sex. i stare at everyone around me and consider what they look like naked and which ones might want to get it on if we were suddenly trapped in the building alone with no escape. if someone appears who is visibly more talented than i am, i tend to spend a lot of time considering whether they like girls, whether their aptitude for dancing translates into other skills, and whether they might enjoy being my private tutor
sometimes that devolves into me half-flirting with them which can create a weird and awkward situation for a group exercise class.
part of that could just be related to selfesteem, though. i’ve never thought of myself as a ‘good’ dancer so i don’t think it would even occur to me to compete in the field. although i don’t think of my dancing as ‘bad’ either. i think of it more like a sloppily enthusiastic puppy. *grin*
Brianne
April 13th, 2008 at 5:29 am
*giggle* I just started level two belly dance classes and some of it is SOOO over my head. (Playing finger cymbals WHILE moving? Gah! We didn’t do that in level one!) I know how you feel! I’m gonna be gloriously clumsy my first time through, heh.
Jim Withington
April 14th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
I got an MA Interdisciplinary Arts, and let me tell you: the biggest creative brick wall I ever experienced (even still!) was the Movement Images class. I totally understand what you are saying about just wondering “this weird left-over neurosis that if you can’t do your shit WELL, you should just get off the stage,” especially in this context.
Good stuff.
Unplugged Night #14 - Electrolicious
May 3rd, 2008 at 12:33 am
[…] still struggle. I’m doing Unplugged Nights on Tuesdays, which is the night of my mind-bending dance class. That means that I stay busy for over 2 hours of the evening, walking to class, dancing, walking […]