Electrolicious

13 Responses to “Meritocratic”

1. Brianne
   April 21st, 2008 at 8:35 pm

   

   If I’m understanding the posts correctly, I’m with you. I think that’s why I like bellydancing… movement does come somewhat naturally to me, but I get to learn all sorts of new ways to do it! It never feels impossible, just challenging.

2. Jeannie
   April 21st, 2008 at 8:54 pm

   

   Hey - this is a good question! Here is my long-ass answer.

   I was one of those kids for whom everything came easy - and partially as a result of that, I didn’t do anything that was hard for me until the stakes got really high and I absolutely had to. Now, years later, I really super value my career and my running - because I had / have to work my ass off for both of them. And, I see the fact that I did / do work so hard as a sign of my adulthood, my maturity. I’m very proud. But then, my relationship with Aa is a cakewalk - it’s hardly ever work. And I value it so, so much. I feel like it’s a gift, and I’m so grateful for it.

   So maybe the difference is in *how* I value these parts of my life. I value all of it, but the value for each feels different. So I guess for me, it’s not a more / less question.

3. yelahneb
   April 21st, 2008 at 9:10 pm

   

   i would argue that the latter is the more worthy expenditure of energy and accumulation of value. individuality is in increasingly short supply as the world rushes headlong towards higher and more profound degrees of homogenization.

   the closer we come to getting paid for simply being ourselves, the better.

4. amy
   April 22nd, 2008 at 4:31 am

   

   I think you might have it backwards… I don’t value my writing because I worked hard on it; I work hard on my writing because it’s important to me, because executing the story correctly is, in my mind, something of great worth.

   There are plenty of hard things in life — running a marathon, climbing Mt. Everest — that I will never do because I don’t personally value those things. And if I *did* run a marathon, I *still* probably wouldn’t value the experience, no matter how hard I worked, because to me, marathons are pointless.

   I think it’s great that the things you value in life are things that come easily to you — I won’t deny I’m sometimes jealous, even. But it’s possible that someday you will find something of great value and importance to you, that will take a lot of hard work to accomplish. And if that something is worth *enough* to you, you will work very, very hard for it.

5. Vanessa
   April 22nd, 2008 at 5:46 am

   

   I most definitely value things that come naturally, or I can accomplish utilizing my strengths. For me, constantly trying to achieve something that is very difficult (for me) is usually a blow to my self esteem and sanity.

   I’ll always enjoy myself more if I know the chances of me doing a good job/succeeding outweigh the likelihood of failure.

   Good question!

6. mykie
   April 22nd, 2008 at 6:23 am

   

   valuing an experience is not the same as valuing something that is tangible. i had a horrible childhood….but i value that experience. i value it because it shaped me into the woman i am today. i value it because i learned valuable lessons in the process. ones that produced wisdom and strength within me. the fact that i can look back and say i made it, through it all is a motivator. makes me feel good. when you feel strong. when you feel like you are worth something, you can reflect upon experiences that may have contributed to this and see them as valuable….
   when something is valuable, it has worth. its has proven to be effective in terms of contribution. you may not like marathons. you may see them as pointless. but if you train for one. and when you make it to the end….that training experience holds value. you may value accomplishing something as a result of working hard. i’m a poet. i value my work; but moreso, i value the experiences which cause me to write poetry. in response to ariel’s question….if i get hired for a job because of my education and past work experiences as opposed to getting hired because i know the boss…i’d value the education and experience aspect over the latter.

7. Ariel
   April 22nd, 2008 at 7:30 am

   

   Oh, don’t go getting jealous, Amy. You don’t have the full picture. Just to clarify, the issue arises not because everything thing in my life has come easily to me, but because there are a few things (and one thing in particular that no, I don’t write about publicly) that I’ve worked very hard for, still haven’t been able to make happen, and honestly may never accomplish. If that’s even the word for it. It breaks my heart a little bit every day.

   This leads to me to wonder … if these hidden things I’m working so hard for ever come to fruition, will they feel more valuable to me than the things that have been more flow-going accomplishments?

8. Summer
   April 22nd, 2008 at 9:06 am

   

   I think “hard” work is overrated. I also got the same message from my parents–because suffering seemed to equate a good work ethic. It’s taken me a long time to value the work I do naturally and with joy–just because I love it doesn’t mean it ain’t work. So is marriage, so is parenting, writing, (etx. etc.) and most things that matter. That being said, there is also great joy in coming through challenges and breaking through to a new level I never thought possible. There’s a difference between sweating for sweating sake and striving to achieve something that matters. It’s basically what everybody else is saying: what matters most is the meaning behind it.

9. wonton
   April 22nd, 2008 at 12:26 pm

   

   Shew, now I’m wondering what that one thing you haven’t talked about publicly could be. Music? Acting? Painting? Talk show host? Chef? Dancer? Or is it something on the other side of the spectrum? Like politics or ghost hunting? LOL Maybe I should quit being so blasted nosy……

10. amy.leblanc
    April 22nd, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    

    i’ve honestly never really worked hard for anything either, so this is something that i wonder about also. relatedly, i think it’s also why i have more than a little bit of a fear of failure - i’m starting to get a nagging feeling that the reason i’ve never pushed myself to do things that i knew i would have to work hard for is because i am afraid i would fall apart if i failed. so instead i stick to what’s easy. and maybe i don’t really value the things i have as much for that reason, i don’t know.

    i would seem to me that the biggest factor here for me would be how much you enjoyed that working hard, or if it was a valuable experience. if it was just a terrible slog, you might just be glad it’s over and whatever is produced doesn’t mean much just because you had to kill yourself over it. but in some other more personal cases, maybe the fight for it makes it all more valuable in the end.

11. Molly
    April 22nd, 2008 at 3:04 pm

    

    This question is really at the foundation of the mainstream perception that artists and creatives don’t work hard. If you do work that you love to do and are good at, your work becomes an integrated part of your lifestyle and identity, which makes for a copacetic work life (ultimately).

12. kim
    April 23rd, 2008 at 4:16 pm

    

    i don’t find that the amount of effort i have to put into something really affects my perception of the value of it. i’ve had to work really hard for things that were necessary for me to do but that i didn’t care about. although i was glad that i was able to accomplish them, i don’t feel any more pleased with the end result than i would if they had just been given to me. at times i’ve tried to convince myself that i did in order to give myself the impression that the work had been ‘worth it’, but ultimately i still care or don’t care as much as i would under any circumstances.

    my interest in reducing my amount of effort has actually been popular in the workplace. since i preferred to spend as little time working as possible, i came up with ways to avoid doing the repetitive things i didn’t want to do. for example, there were some things at work that required the same/similar information to be typed over and over and everybody else did it by hand. i made a notepad file and hotkeys so i could just hit a couple keys and paste the information, then change it slightly and be done with it. my laziness translates into efficiency, so when i need to i can do the same work as everybody else in much less time.

    in general as i age i’ve gotten less interested in pushing myself to do things that don’t seem to be working out, whether it be a relationship or a job or anything else. i don’t necessarily believe that ‘everything happens for a reason’, but i’ve found that oftentimes i was pushing myself to do things for other people rather than for myself. i believed that my lover would be happier or my parents would be happier or my friends would be happier if i did x. not necessarily consciously, of course… it was often very subconscious and i didn’t realize it ’til years later. more specifically, it’s recently been an issue with me for monogamy… even though i was interested in other relationship arrangements and believed i’d be happier with an alternative, nobody i was with was willing/interested in experimenting so i pushed myself to do what i thought would make them happy.

    don’t get me wrong… there are definitely things that are worth working for. but a lot of times when i’ve felt like i was banging my head against a brick wall and feeling miserable it was because i believed there was only one way to accomplish whatever my goal was when in fact there were lots of others that i wasn’t seriously considering.

13. Nikki
    April 25th, 2008 at 4:20 pm

    

    I’ve been busting my ass for over a year to get something off the ground, and sometimes it’s like pulling teeth and sometimes things just flow together. But I do think the struggle and the work I put in does pay off later - even if I can’t see the process right now.

    When I ride my bike uphill, it’s hard and I have to push myself and it takes forever, but then I get a downhill coast as a reward.