Electrolicious

12 Responses to “Compartmentalizing”

1. Maven
   May 31st, 2008 at 2:16 pm

   

   Yikes–this is a hard one because it’s so extreme. I can remember lots of times when my days were filled with joy even though something massive and craptastic was brewing or in progress, but I can’t think of any instances where my amazing day had one black hole in it. I think that’s because I tend not to remember feeling unhappy. That seems to be my brain’s main coping mechanism. I’d probably do exactly what you did.

2. Jennifer
   May 31st, 2008 at 2:17 pm

   

   I do my best to keep a positive front, while not being too hard on myself for the moments of introspective silence mixed into those times when I’d normally be more “myself”.

   Facing uncertainty and potentially life-changing bad news, my mantra has come from (of all places) a quote I saw on a notecard:

   “Everything will be okay in the end.
   If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

3. amy.leblanc
   May 31st, 2008 at 5:39 pm

   

   pretty much the same - shove to the side/try to focus on what’s going on in the moment and not let the other thing take over. i’m hyper-emotional, so it’s really hard, but on the other hand i am pretty good at ignoring feelings i don’t want to feel too. oh, and lots and lots of deep breathing.

4. robin
   May 31st, 2008 at 6:48 pm

   

   I think getting it out/processed in some way — like you did — is the trick. You could talk to someone, or you could take a long walk while talking to yourself and get it at least somewhat processed. I do one of those things, depending on the issue.

   Then I am very firm with myself — “not going to think about this now. Period.” And I stick to it. It helps me if I can tell myself “I can’t change anything about this right now anyway” … giving myself permission to write it off until I can take action of some sort.

   And usually in a few days, with it simmering on the back burner, I feel better about it anyway.

   Good luck!

5. Angie
   June 1st, 2008 at 8:30 am

   

   I wish I had some decent advice for you. I am not very good at it. The only thing I can say halfway works is to catch myself thinking about the Bad Thing and mentally saying Stop to myself. Then I visualize a little push broom sweeping those negative thoughts into a corner of my brain to deal with later on.

6. Dawn Merydith
   June 1st, 2008 at 9:38 am

   

   I try my best to live in the moment. I focus on what is physically going on right around me very slowly.

7. Alyce
   June 2nd, 2008 at 11:24 am

   

   I prolly would have done what you did. Short burst of emotion followed by forced concentration on the easier/happier thoughts.

   And then days of processing to make up for the compartmentalization.

8. SolShine7
   June 2nd, 2008 at 3:15 pm

   

   I do what you did and then pray. And then listen to some uplifting music.

9. Brodie
   June 3rd, 2008 at 10:18 am

   

   I think I am the only Y chrom to answer here. I am not too good with compartmentalizing things, and so I am a bull in a china closet. Thankfully, I have a spouse to talk to, and who supports me in crisis times. So on the one hand I am pretty stalwart, calm in a turmoil. On the other hand, I *wish* I could be a bit more ‘cry in the bathroom’. The trade off is having someone who is very good emotionally sort of deal with me and get me through it. If this cannot be done ‘just at that moment’, I trust and know that we will talk later and she will help me with words and thoughts to get through it later, so I push it to the side until then and go back to being steady for the time being.

10. rachel
    June 4th, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    

    ok ive read the post a few times over and i cant see how any of it is deep suck related…unless “Shitty news filled with lots of big potentially life-changing unknowns! ” is the deep suck which you glossed over in an attempt to avoid blurting it out…in that case sometimes you just have to sweat through it. sometimes you just gotta take it as it comes…and dont let yourself get overwhelmed…easier said than done though i know
    itll all work out

11. Ariel
    June 4th, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    

    Rachel, there are aspects of my life that I chose not to blog about. Hence, this post’s vague reference to a deep suck.

12. Lisa
    June 4th, 2008 at 6:46 pm

    

    Hi Ariel,
    I would deal with a “deep suck” the way you did….I would take a moment, cry about it and then deal with it later. Try to live in the moment and not let it cloud all the great things going on in your life. For me…if I take a moment and have some distance to think about the deep suck…I’m better able to analyze.
    I hope that you’re going to be ok.