Daily affirmations of a word mercenary
I’m in Boston for a couple days for work. This marks my first return to the city since 1993, when I was a freshman at Emerson College. It was not a happy time. I came to Boston with my hopes high: I still (stupidly) believed that the best students went to private colleges as far away from home as possible, so I headed to Boston confident that everything was going to be awesome for me.
It wasn’t, though. I hated the Musical Theater program I was in (bleah: the Linklater technique was not for me) and didn’t really like the school (too many rich kids trying to act poor, and poor kids trying to act rich). I found Boston too big and cold and mean, and I was totally confused by New England’s personality, which was too reserved for my West Coast hippie-kid tastes.
The transition into college is bumpy for many freshman trying to break into the “real world” … but I definitely had an extremely rough time of it. I was an only child who was raised tucked away in the woods. My parents did their best to shelter me from popular culture and mainstream America, and even though my hometown is a half-hour ferry ride from downtown Seattle, I almost never ventured into the big city. At 18, I had almost no street smarts and none of the callouses needed to survive in an urban environment. I tried to be adventurous and head to a big Eastern city, and almost immediately realized that adventure be-damned, I’d made a mistake and was on the wrong coast, in the wrong program, at the wrong school.
…Also (this is the embarrassing part) I had a boyfriend in Seattle who I was madly in love with, despite his habit of dumping me over and over again. (Oh hi there, dysfunctional relationship.) I couldn’t really afford the private college I’d so badly wanted to attend, and with the exception of a couple awesome dorm buddies, there was pretty much nothing to hold me in Boston. At the end of fall ‘93 semester, I packed up my bags, admitted defeat, and flew back to Seattle.
A partial list of things that have happened since I left Boston:
I don’t have any regrets about leaving Boston. It was a financially smart, even if the decision was more about yearning for my dysfunctional boyfriend than it was about money. But in some alternate universe, I kicked that boy to the curb in 1993 and stayed in Boston, graduating from Emerson with a $75k student loan debt and amazing vocal techniques. I probably would have ended up working in tech anyway (Boston’s dotcom scene is hot!) but it would have been a very different life.
I plan to do some walking around Back Bay today and see if I can catch any ghosts of my alternate self wandering around.
Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, was published last year.
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Jo
July 10th, 2008 at 7:05 am
Welcome back to Boston! Don’t forget to go to Mike’s Pastry for a lobster tail
~Jo
(Savin Hill)
Renee
July 10th, 2008 at 7:22 am
It’s funny how nostalgia is both wonderfully freeing yet intensely sad. My former lover is, ironically, living in Seattle right now, and every time it rains I thank my lucky stars that I made a different choice.
ginevra
July 10th, 2008 at 8:10 am
Welcome back! My favorite yoga studio is in Back Bay (called, naturally, Back Bay Yoga).
jennifer
July 10th, 2008 at 8:46 am
I love Back Bay yoga too! I am originally from Concord, outside of Boston, and I stayed here for college, but have been in graduate school in the Bay area for five (gasp!) years now. The first year was really hard. I had no idea what to do with my reserved, east coast self in Berkeley and I spent a good portion of the year moaning about not being in New York, but eventually I tapped into my inner West-coaster and have been really happy since. Even with so many transplants, the coasts do have such different personalities. Have fun in Boston.
Beca
July 10th, 2008 at 9:34 am
You look so cute and hopeful in that picture! Welcome back to Beantown. If you want to venture out a bit, The Publick House in Washington Sq in Brookline is the most amazingest beer pub I’ve ever been to (I’ve been to a lot, in multiple continents).
keira
July 10th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Oh goodness, I went to Emerson. My freshman year was full of Linklater-ness and just when I tought I had truly freed my “natural voice”, she went off to Columbia to teach and Emerson brought in a whole new style of acting.
The Theatre Education program opened their arms to me and I never looked back.
I was also coming from Long Island and for me, coming to Boston was a huge, huge relief.
In fact, I’m still here. Let me know if you need to know any decent places to hang out while you’re around.
SJS
July 10th, 2008 at 10:23 am
I have a similar story! Only it was Salt Lake and I was city savvy. But yeah, I totally get the being miserable in a place that’s all wrong for you and then bailing asap for a bad boyfriend thing.
jim
July 10th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Been in Boston for 34 years. Can’t believe it, really. I know the city well, like it, have been to Seattle, like it there, too, but I have this deep craving to move to Montpelier, Vermont, the littlest state capital in the country. Am I nuts like you? Or not nuts like you?
Lisa
July 10th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Look at the face in the freshman picture… i wish i still had my freshman id card,they took them away from us when they printed newer fancier ones(and made us pay for new ones!) there’s something about that precollege hope in one’s eyes.
Bonnie
July 10th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
It’s funny when I hear people talk about characteristics that they think of as “coastal” things when I think that cities take on a life of their own. I grew up in RI, a little over and hour from Boston and that’s EXACTLY how I always felt in Boston. Just like you described.
It’s a remarkably different vibe from Providence - even though they are so close by on the same coast. RI is much much more chill - especially southern RI (and coastal Maine for that matter) Its all about the little fishing towns - divey, beachy and laid back. Little small crowded towns and farms and forests and the majority is much more working class - not just the “bad areas”. I grew up in a rural town, by a lake and still love the area and spend a lot of time in Providence or go up into the mountains and woods of NH and VT, or the coast of Maine - I even prefer Cape Cod over Boston. It just always felt cold and starchy to me. Like if I somehow cracked the code and became part of the club, I could find out WHY its a great place, but I never could. I know people who LOVE Boston must know something I don’t, even though I’ve spent loads of time there. It never clicks.
So maybe not a coastal thing? I’ve always been told I would love Seattle and I have friends that swear Portland is the sister city to Providence.
-b
Ariel
July 10th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Bonnie, I say “East Coast” because I don’t really like New York either, and haven’t been impressed by what little I’ve seen of Philly and DC. Then again, I suppose there are a lot of other cities on the East Coast … but none that have appealed to me enough even to visit. Well, maybe Atlanta. I’d like to see Atlanta.
Liz
July 10th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
I really loved this post, even if I don’t have anything constructive to add to it. I’ve never been to Boston, but my fiancĂ© grew up there and wants to return someday, permanently. We’ll be visiting next year.
I’m almost sure that I will like it - at least they have Trader Joe’s, which I severely miss after having left Seattle. But who knows? I’ve never met a city that I really hated.
It’s weird to think about the “could have beens.” But also comforting to realize that, no matter what one’s motivations are, one can still trust one’s instincts.
Lety
July 10th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
your ID is sugary sweet. great smile (laugh?)
Ariel
July 11th, 2008 at 5:37 am
The story with that smile: I’d flown a red eye to Boston, dropped my bags in my sweltering dorm room, and then raced over to the student check-in. I was running late, and got my ID photo taken at the last possible moment. I was exhausted and disoriented and jetlagged and excited. In other words, that smile can be credited to optimistic overcompensation.
Jenn Tantleff
July 11th, 2008 at 9:41 am
As a fellow Emerson Alum I totally understand what you went through, lol - I to this day never used the skills I learned there.
Made some great D&D gamer friends though!
Brittany
July 13th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Delurking to say…. I went to Emerson for a year (1999). Hated every minute of it. I’m living in NC now, and just met two people who also went for a year (1998) and hated it. I guess it’s going around…
Meg
July 14th, 2008 at 11:56 am
De-lurking over on this blog to say ME TOO! Except for me it was NYU’s theatre program that introduced me to my hatred of Linklater (you are kinder about it on this very public blog then I am in private conversation), and I didn’t leave… I stuck it out for 4 hard and expensive years. And now where am I? NOT doing theatre, and living in San Francisco, where I wanted to live in the first place.
The East Coast is a hard nut to crack if you are a slightly sheltered hippie kid. I showed up and thought it was as easy as “where do the offbeat hippie types hang out? What’s the scene?” To crickets. After 9 years, I’d sort of figured it out, but I still feel overwhelming relief now that I ‘m back home (finally) and I see someone with dreads, or a musician from Renaissance Faire with a hat out on the sidewalk, or any number of other things. I want to hug them all.
Wow. You brought up some emotions I didn’t fully know I had! Good post.
Baxter
July 16th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
This post is relevant to my interests!
I too was torn between Emerson in Boston and a school in the Northwest. Having come from Richmond, VA, I had little experience with the northwest other than visits and a brief stint as a resident of Beaverton, OR in early childhood. But somehow I knew that Washington just felt right. Chose Tacoma over Boston because I knew a big school would overwhelm me and I’d never make it through those winters. I had to trade Journalism for English Lit and without that journalism degree, I’ve struggled a bit in my writing career. But the world is a big scary place to a 17-year-old, even if they think they know everything. Your first year at Emerson was probably identical to my parallel universe freshman year there. Reading this, I am further affirmed in my decision to convert to Washingtonianism.