Electrolicious

12 Responses to “Black or White”

1. dori
   January 7th, 2003 at 5:26 pm

   

   what exactly *is* your aunt’s castrati theory?

2. Ariel
   January 7th, 2003 at 5:43 pm

   

   Here it is:

   Things we know to be true about Michael Jackson:
   1. His father was physically abusive
   2. His father was focused on the biz of the Jackson 5 above all
   3. Michael likes to grab his crotch
   4. It is never sexy when he does this
   5. Michael’s voice is very high
   6. Michael’s children are very clearly white, and not his
   7. Michael clearly has some emotional issues

   My aunt’s theory:
   Some time in the late ’60s, when MJ’s dad realized that MJ’s impending puberty and voice change would equal the death of the J5 franchise, he chose to have him castrated. Result: items 1-7 above.

   Sure, it’s out there…but it explains so much.

3. dave
   January 8th, 2003 at 10:28 am

   

   You know, being a castrati could, once upon a time, elevate you and your family from the poverty of the European gutters to a wealthy social class and rock-star status.

   Has much changed over the the last few hundred years? i guess not. Props to auntie.

   on a funnier note, when studying castrati in Music 302 (Baroque to early Classical), one boy in my class asked, “so you they just tie ‘it’ up with string so “it’s” out of the way?’ The sad thing was, most of the class sat on the edge of their seats in anticipation of the answer. Ah, church owned schools.

4. The Mighty Jimbo
   January 8th, 2003 at 12:58 pm

   

   ya know, i think she might have something there. it certainly explains a lot.

5. matt
   January 8th, 2003 at 2:13 pm

   

   Has anyone counted how many times he grabbed himself in that dance sequence? I would do it myself, but I can’t watch that again.

6. Eliza
   February 6th, 2003 at 9:57 pm

   

   I absolutely agree with it. In fact, I first heard it as a rumor (as opposed to a theory) from a very credible music industry publicist back in 1984. I was 12 at the time, and over hearing an adult conversation. I had to ask, “What is a castrati?”

7. cameron
   February 7th, 2003 at 7:08 pm

   

   OMG leave the poor guy alone!

   now the world won’t be satisfied till he drops his pants for all to examine in excruciating detail — and then it’ll be — ‘well, those pics of him in the shower, they could be _doctored_, we can’t be sure till a FULL PHYSICAL is done…somebody tranquilize the SOB, the public has a RIGHT to know!! THERE HE IS, GET HIM!!’

   i feel sorry for MJ, obviously a guy with major problems and absolutely nothing is enough to satisfy the public…

   what if you broiled him, but he could still crank out ‘Thriller’? a rose by any other name…

   xo cameron

8. Ariel
   February 11th, 2003 at 2:44 pm

   

   The “poor guy” crowned himself the king of pop and has made billions of dollars. He has chosen a life in the public eye, and I don’t think there’s anything to feel sorry for him about. Unless he IS a castrati.

9. steve
   September 28th, 2003 at 12:54 am

   

   Hahaha, I think ‘Ariel’ is the same person I emailed a while back about this. I’m not sure when the ‘castration’ theory first hit me, but I’ve been trying to convince people ever since. It really is the only logical thing, and one day the truth will be known. I can confidently say I am 90% sure of this.

10. Chloe905
    November 25th, 2003 at 10:54 am

    

    I have long thought that this is the case for all the above noted reasons. I mentioned this once to a African-American woman and she did not think that a black father would ever do this to his son for any reason. But why is it that out of all his sons, who clearly are big, black men, is MJ the only one who is like he is. I think that he was either physically or chemically castrated before puberty for financial reasons.

11. Jay
    February 10th, 2005 at 12:04 am

    

    Funny,
    I just found this, but your aunt’s theory is the same as my mother’s theory.

    Yep,
    Wackers Jackers has no Nackers!

12. Jake
    September 13th, 2006 at 1:32 am

    

    Hey, hey! That’s kind of unfair, don’t you think? You make it sound like being a castrati is a bad thing, that is, if he is one. As long as he makes good music, there’s no problem w/ the crotch-grabbing and whatnot yeah? Though I have to admit that he has some issues, but who doesn’t? Let’s not crticize him too unfairly ok? Seems to me that almost everyone is against him…