Welcome to the final day of Self-Deprecation Week!

Today’s suckage: Undisciplined
Once upon a time, a philosophy major and finishing school graduated asked me, “But Ariel…how can you know the right thing to do, and still choose not to do it?” It’s a good question. If I could actually DO the right thing every time I acknowleged that I knew what it was, I would probably be a third year law student, full-time DJ, and social worker, like my old philosophy major friend. Some people are able to apply themselves fully. Some of us, only partially.

Witness: running stairs. I love running stairs. It gives me an endorphin rush, and is good for me all over. Does that mean I’m able to make myself go do it more than twice a week? No.

Witness: healthy eating. I can look at a plate of glistening, salted fat and sugar and think to myself, “Wow, this food is really going to make me feel like hell.” And yet still! I eat it! All of it!

Witness: writing. I prefer assignments to coming up with my own ideas, which is probably part of why being a copywriting hack works so well for me. Why work on my own stuff when I can sit in a basement and have someone pay me to do theirs?

Witness: the internet. My ultimate friend and foe. Our love/hate relationship has been around for 12 years, and we’ve lived together for half that time. My friend the internet has brought me opportunities, jobs, creative outlets, and connections with wonderful people — my friend is also very high maintenance, eating the majority of my daily hours and paying me back with cellulite.

Witness: self-dep week. The ultimate demonstration of my lack of discipline is that I can see so clearly what my faults are, and yet found myself unable (or unwilling?) to change them. When I find myself rambling on, I tend to keep rambling. When I realize that I’m in a motivational rut, I find myself lingering there. When I catch myself being cruel or impatient, sometimes I want to compensate by blabbering it all over the place, trying to absolve one sin with another.

I suppose, ultimately, all any of us can do is keep trying to be the best us we can. Make the most of the flaws, acknowlege them in the spirit of self-disclosure, and keep on trying. Onward!