Electrolicious

Yesterday, a coworker happened past my desk as I was finishing my lunch. She spied a mysterious bottle sitting near my keyboard.
Having gotten used to strange clays, fibers, green juices, rare sprouts, and all sorts of other oddities being on my desk during my cleanse, my coworker exclaimed, “What is this?!” as she picked the […]

The fast is broken! We just split a salad from our favorite Thai restaurant. It feels very strange to have food in my stomach for the first time since Thursday (!? did I really just type that?), and I’m very happy to have marked my return into the living world.
Dre and I talked over how […]

Day two of no food.
Today Andreas and I watched the entire first season of “Six Feet Under” on DVD. All 13 hours of it. I like it better than The Sopranos. It was a supremely effective distraction.
I also went and got that colonic, which was a really good choice. It was definitely a perfect treatment […]

So, I’m now at -7 pounds from when I started the cleanse. Weight has not dropped as much as I expected, which suggests that if I want to lose weight after this cleanse, it’s going to be a metabolism/exercise issue, and not a dietary change. If a diet this radical has results that small (because […]

I spent most of the day today feeling great. Really really good. Not hungry. Not shaky. Definitely no delerium. I actually had the fleeting thought, “Why do people bother with eating when it’s so easy not to?” Then I smelled popcorn and remembered that I was functioning as temporary non-human, and to shut up.
Mucoid plaque […]

Upon crawling into bed last night, I spooned up to Andreas’ back, curled an arm around his waist, and sighed.
*Dre:* We’re so close…
*Me:* Yes. We are. [Gives him a little squeeze. Thinks, “What a sweet thing to say!”]
*Dre:* …Only four days left until we can eat regular food!
*Me:* Oh. Right. That too.

Mucoid plaque! Oh yes. It’s all worth it when you see the mucoid plaque.
I scheduled a colonic for Saturday. I realize that famous people swear by colonics, and therefore they must somehow be glamorous? But I’ve had a colonic before, and let’s face it: someone sticking a tube up your butt is never, ever glamorous.
Only […]

My digestive situation is sort of like that line from Mad Max: “Two men enter, one man leaves.”
Except it’s kind of reversed. More like, “No food goes in, lots of weird stuff comes out.” Sort of like a small emaciated child walked into the Thunderdome, and a whole marching band exiting in its place. No […]

Today I had my last lunch until one week from today. Eep.

Getting sick of these posts yet? I am. Luckily for both of us, this is Dre and my last week of the cleanse! One week from today, we’ll be sinking our teeth into … well, still a salad, but a salad with normal person dressing and perhaps some protein mixed in, like a hardboiled egg. […]