Electrolicious

D: Did he just sing, “I’m a fistula, a walking talking fistula?”
A: Uh, no it’s question mark, a walking talking question mark.

Ariel Meadow: When/where’s your game tonight?
Dre @ Work: 8:30 in West Seattle
Ariel Meadow: Going out drinking afta?
Dre @ Work: Don’t know, why?
Ariel Meadow: Eh, just trying to get a feel for how
much time I have to beat the gimp boy in the basement
without you walking in on me.
Dre @ Work: Take your time, my love
Dre [...]

Patrick: My Germanness shines through — I love heavy, eggy, cheesy, potatoy foods.
Ariel: potatoy: methinks you should trademark that.
Ariel: Mr. Potatohead’s erotic fiction nom de pleum.
Patrick: Cheap Potatohead knockoff
Ariel: Sorry, honey. we couldn’t afford the plastic potato. Here’s a potato with some pipe cleaners. We call it “potatoy.”
Patrick: The real potatoy: a glass of water. [...]

Saturday morning cell phone conversation with Sarahbella:
A: Hello!
S: Why hello, little miss grown up! What are you doing?
A: Um, standing in line for a green cone compost bin.
S: …
A: ….
S: Wow, you really are little miss grown up.
A: Er.

A: [makes mucusy sound]
A: Phlegmy?
A: Yup.
A: Like a Phlegmy Giant?
A: …
A: Rabbit joke. That’s not funny.
A: Was that 4-H humor?
A: Yes. Yes, it was.

My cell just rang. It was an LA area code.
Me: Hello?
Her: Hey there, it’s me! Oh I’m so glad I caught you. How are you doing, honey?
Me: Oh, just fine. [fuck, who is this? I'm sure I'll recognize her voice soon.] How are you doing?
Her: Oh my gosh, I’m just fine, but wow! I just [...]

This conversation was born from this headline: BLAKE’S VOMITING DIDN’T SEEM SINCERE TO WITNESSES
Patrick: I have a belly full of mediocre Pad See Eew
Ariel Meadow: Yeah, I’ve got a leaden rock of oily noodle and fried tofu in mine.
Patrick: Gross.
Ariel Meadow: Thai: the new Chinese!
Patrick: Leaden, oily rock — that ain’t good.
Ariel Meadow: Yeah, maybe [...]

A: [knocking on bathroom door] Can I come in?
A: Yes.
A: [enters] I’m going to brush my teeth.
A: …But I was going to brush my teeth!
A: But my toothbrush head is still on the Sonicare, so therefore I should do my teeth first.
A: …
A: It minimizes our collective effort — we only have to change the [...]

The funny thing about being one of a couple of aging ravers is that embarassing conversations like this happen with increasing frequency:
A: …And then there was that trick you did the night we first hooked up, where I asked for a sip of water and instead of handing me the bottle, you took a swig [...]

Last month Andreas and I were enjoying a springtime stroll down the street towards the park. An older guy walking the opposite direction approached us, holding onto his long white beard. As he passed us, he leaned towards me, eyes down (was he looking at my feet?) and mumbled, “Sideways to heaven.”
“What did he just [...]