Daily affirmations of a word mercenary
Eavesdropper Category
I once went to a deaf night at a Seattle bar. The place was packed with people, but almost completely silent, save for outbursts of laughter. It was a great time to look around at an increasingly-drunk crowd, all signing and drinking and laughing. Then I thought of something, and turned to my friend Echo.
Me: Echo, as a hearing person, if I want to eavesdrop on someone, I have to be pretty close to them to overhear their conversation. And in a bar, I have to be right next to someone to hear them over the noise.
Echo: And?
Me: But, with sign language, you can eavesdrop on someone all the way across the room, can’t you?
Echo: …Except for that would be rude, Ariel.
Echo may be disappointed by this category, but I just eavesdrop on myself.
Love Birds
9
Feb
2003
In: Eavesdropper
A: I love you.
A: I love you, too.
A: I guess that’s how it should be.
A: …Unless I’m just letting you think I love you!
A: All this time!
A: Yes, you’ve never noticed.
A: …Unless I just let you think I’ve never noticed.
A: Touché!
PS: Both Andreas and I remember the exchange as being much more witty, but can’t remember what exactly we said. But it was witty. Trust us.
Heckling Cars
1
Feb
2003
In: Eavesdropper
The Scene: Outside The Brickhouse cafe, eating brunch with a work associate.
What’s just happened: A car backing into a parking space blocked two cars from going through an intersection for a few seconds. Someone honked.
Diner #1: Yeah! Honk some more, stupid!
Diner #2: Get pissed!
Diner #3: It’s Saturday, for godsake. What’s the hurry?
Diner #1: Yeah!
Diner #2: Jeez.
Plan
22
Jan
2003
In: Eavesdropper
Yesterday, an old friend of mine from the Island met me for bevvies here in Venice. We hadn’t seen eachother in almost 10 years, and so we spent a bunch of time playing catch up and laughing over our old drama teacher’s bumbling escapades. Then, it got to larger picture stuff:
Dana: So, do you have, like, a long term life pla—
Me: No.
Dana: Ah. Not at all?
Me: Wellllll, I…there’s — No, actually. Not at all.
Flight
6
Jan
2003
In: Eavesdropper
Dre: Well, when I’m flying, I’m usually totally out of control.
Dad: Even when just levitating.
Dre: Sometimes I’ve got a bit more of a hang on things when I’m levitating…but not always.
Dad: I used to have very little control over levitation, but it’s improved over the years.
Dre: Yeah, I think I just need to have faith that I can do it.
Dad: You can!
They were discussing dream-flying as a metaphor for self-realization, but I think the conversation stands by itself pretty well, too.
On Aging
3
Jan
2003
In: Eavesdropper
My dad, after two bleached, permed, implanted, and primped LA ladies in their 60s power-walked by us: “There are several different methods of holding onto youth. The most effective focus internally. The least effective, externally.”
And yes, I will use this pearl of wisdom as a justification to enjoy potty humor and off-color comments until I die.
Regarding Depeche Mode
10
Dec
2002
In: Eavesdropper
While listening to “In Your Room (Jeep Rock Mix).”
Dre: Wow, that synth line is amazing.
Me: Does it make you wet yourself?
Dre, with a perfectly straight face: Yes.
Last Night
23
Nov
2002
In: Eavesdropper
Nice guy from Chicago: So, what’s your name?
Me: Ariel.
NGFC: Is that your Burning Man name?
Me: Nope, real name.
NGFC: Cool!
• • •
Really high guy: I’m rolling SO hard right now, and I just had to tell you.
Me: Wow, thanks!
RHG: Later, you have to meet my girlfriend.
Me: Ok.
RHG: I’m rolling SO hard right now.
(He stayed true to his word, grabbing my hand an hour later, and dragging me through the entire party to meet his girlfriend who was incapacitated on a couch. I gave her a hug, she tried to focus her eyes, and then I ran far, far away.)
• • •
NGFC: You know, I used to be heavily involved in Chicago’s punk scene 15 years ago, and there were parties just like this…just totally anything goes. Dancing, performing, art, freaks, chaos. It’s really nice to see that there’s still a place for that.
Me: Yeah, I’ve been going to raves for seven years, and it’s cool to see how, despite the changes the community goes through, there seems to be a consistent need for events like this [ie "temporary autonamous zone" gatherings]. I mean, here we are: there’s a DJ downstairs, people dancing, and a few high people [see RHG above]. Does that make this a rave? I don’t know.
NGFC: I thought this was a psychedelic party?
Me: Hmm. That too!
It’s always funny being the sober one.
Too frumpy for bums
19
Nov
2002
In: Eavesdropper
Homeless guy: You look great!
Me: Why, thank you!
Homeless guy: I like the outfit, it’s very…um, casual.
Jesus! Everyone’s a critic!
- 5 Comments
- Tags: fashion
Success
14
Nov
2002
In: Eavesdropper
Me, sitting at my desk next to the window: [sneezes]
Guy painting my balcony right outside the window: iSalud!
Me: iGracias!
And I only had to think about it for a second! Much better than last time.
Not Often Heard
22
Oct
2002
In: Eavesdropper
Me: So, how was the commute today?
Dre: Fun!
Me: Yeah?
Dre: Yeah! You know, my commute is the best part of my day, actually. It’s great.
…I guess that’s how it works when you rollerblade to work.
Echo: And?
Me: But, with sign language, you can eavesdrop on someone all the way across the room, can’t you?
Echo: …Except for that would be rude, Ariel.
Love Birds
9 Feb 2003 In: EavesdropperA: I love you.
A: I love you, too.
A: I guess that’s how it should be.
A: …Unless I’m just letting you think I love you!
A: All this time!
A: Yes, you’ve never noticed.
A: …Unless I just let you think I’ve never noticed.
A: Touché!
PS: Both Andreas and I remember the exchange as being much more witty, but can’t remember what exactly we said. But it was witty. Trust us.
Heckling Cars
1 Feb 2003 In: EavesdropperThe Scene: Outside The Brickhouse cafe, eating brunch with a work associate.
What’s just happened: A car backing into a parking space blocked two cars from going through an intersection for a few seconds. Someone honked.
Diner #1: Yeah! Honk some more, stupid!
Diner #2: Get pissed!
Diner #3: It’s Saturday, for godsake. What’s the hurry?
Diner #1: Yeah!
Diner #2: Jeez.
Plan
22 Jan 2003 In: EavesdropperYesterday, an old friend of mine from the Island met me for bevvies here in Venice. We hadn’t seen eachother in almost 10 years, and so we spent a bunch of time playing catch up and laughing over our old drama teacher’s bumbling escapades. Then, it got to larger picture stuff:
Dana: So, do you have, like, a long term life pla—
Me: No.
Dana: Ah. Not at all?
Me: Wellllll, I…there’s — No, actually. Not at all.
Flight
6 Jan 2003 In: EavesdropperDre: Well, when I’m flying, I’m usually totally out of control.
Dad: Even when just levitating.
Dre: Sometimes I’ve got a bit more of a hang on things when I’m levitating…but not always.
Dad: I used to have very little control over levitation, but it’s improved over the years.
Dre: Yeah, I think I just need to have faith that I can do it.
Dad: You can!
They were discussing dream-flying as a metaphor for self-realization, but I think the conversation stands by itself pretty well, too.
On Aging
3 Jan 2003 In: EavesdropperMy dad, after two bleached, permed, implanted, and primped LA ladies in their 60s power-walked by us: “There are several different methods of holding onto youth. The most effective focus internally. The least effective, externally.”
And yes, I will use this pearl of wisdom as a justification to enjoy potty humor and off-color comments until I die.
Regarding Depeche Mode
10 Dec 2002 In: EavesdropperWhile listening to “In Your Room (Jeep Rock Mix).”
Dre: Wow, that synth line is amazing.
Me: Does it make you wet yourself?
Dre, with a perfectly straight face: Yes.
Last Night
23 Nov 2002 In: EavesdropperNice guy from Chicago: So, what’s your name?
Me: Ariel.
NGFC: Is that your Burning Man name?
Me: Nope, real name.
NGFC: Cool!
Really high guy: I’m rolling SO hard right now, and I just had to tell you.
Me: Wow, thanks!
RHG: Later, you have to meet my girlfriend.
Me: Ok.
RHG: I’m rolling SO hard right now.
(He stayed true to his word, grabbing my hand an hour later, and dragging me through the entire party to meet his girlfriend who was incapacitated on a couch. I gave her a hug, she tried to focus her eyes, and then I ran far, far away.)
NGFC: You know, I used to be heavily involved in Chicago’s punk scene 15 years ago, and there were parties just like this…just totally anything goes. Dancing, performing, art, freaks, chaos. It’s really nice to see that there’s still a place for that.
Me: Yeah, I’ve been going to raves for seven years, and it’s cool to see how, despite the changes the community goes through, there seems to be a consistent need for events like this [ie "temporary autonamous zone" gatherings]. I mean, here we are: there’s a DJ downstairs, people dancing, and a few high people [see RHG above]. Does that make this a rave? I don’t know.
NGFC: I thought this was a psychedelic party?
Me: Hmm. That too!
It’s always funny being the sober one.
Too frumpy for bums
19 Nov 2002 In: EavesdropperHomeless guy: You look great!
Me: Why, thank you!
Homeless guy: I like the outfit, it’s very…um, casual.
Jesus! Everyone’s a critic!
- 5 Comments
- Tags: fashion
Success
14 Nov 2002 In: EavesdropperMe, sitting at my desk next to the window: [sneezes]
Guy painting my balcony right outside the window: iSalud!
Me: iGracias!
And I only had to think about it for a second! Much better than last time.
Not Often Heard
22 Oct 2002 In: EavesdropperMe: So, how was the commute today?
Dre: Fun!
Me: Yeah?
Dre: Yeah! You know, my commute is the best part of my day, actually. It’s great.
…I guess that’s how it works when you rollerblade to work.
Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, was published last year.
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