Daily affirmations of a word mercenary
Happiness & Health Category
“Happiness and health to you on whatever path you chose” used to be the sign off line at the magazine I worked for back in the ’90s. Now it’s the category name for all my mental and physical health-related posts.
My eyes
19
Jun
2006
In: Happiness & Health
Tonight I have a consultation to see if I want to do what heard someone this weekend refer to as “flap ‘n’ zap,” aka corrective laser eye surgery.
I’ve known lots of folks who’ve had lasik surgery (Vera’s description was the most detailed and helpful that I’ve seen), but I’ve never really considered it for myself. Too expensive. Too scary. And I like my glasses.
Then Patrick Farley, one of my favorite online artists, wrote about a dream he had shortly after having his surgery. Last night I dreamt I was with my friends at a campout at Willits, and we were looking at the stars, and I suddenly realized, “Hey, I don’t need these glasses!” And I took my glasses off, and the stars blazed into clearer focus than ever before, a jewel-like clarity I’d never before beheld.
Then he went on to talk about how it was one of the best life improvement decisions he’d ever made. Oh. Hmm.
Then I started thinking about all my summer plans and how awesome they would be if I didn’t have to do the glasses/prescriptions sunglasses/contacts shuffle. Inside: glasses! Outside: prescription sunglasses! Oops wait, swimming! contacts in quickly. Oh but then wait back outside — sunglasses! But wait, they’re prescription, so I guess I can either squint from the sun or take out my contacts, bla bla. It’s complicated.
I also started thinking about what my glasses have meant to me. I started wearing glasses at 13, then switched to contacts at 16, then back to glasses at 22. I switched back to glasses in part because my eyes + CRT monitors = eye strain, but in part because I was kicking off my career and was aware that my babyface was a distinct handicap. At 22 I looked like I was about 17. And that was if I was dressed nicely. If I was wearing my usual daily-wear my perceived age dropped to about 15. My glasses were a way of gaining respect from the people I worked with. Sure: I knew I was smart, but glasses helped set the stage so that when I started talking people weren’t totally confused by the enormous words that fell out of my face.
Ok, so that was cool. It’s worked for almost 10 years. And now, here I am. I’ve worked my way into a place in my career where no one’s surprised by what comes out when I open my mouth. I don’t need to prove myself with glasses any more — that’s what my resume is for.
And although I might still look a little younger than I am thanks to the babyface, I’m working on some deep groove smile lines that stick around even when I’m not smiling. I don’t think I need the glasses to help me look my age any more.
And then there are all the places I’ll be able to see … in rainstorms! In the shower! When swimming! In downward dog! When making out! While engaged in sexual congress! Immediately upon waking up! No more playing “Where are my glasses,” where in I pat around blindly and Andreas looks under couch cushions and books to see where I’ve left them. My god. No more shuffling of contacts and glasses and sunglasses. Doesn’t that sound nice? Then again, I do have to risk permanent blindness and suffer through the weirdest 10 minutes ever, complete with the smell of my own laser-burnt eye-flesh. Mm. Singed eye-flesh. Patrick Farley described it as like an alien probe. That seems like a euphemism.
Anyway, we’ll see how the consultation goes. Originally, I was thinking maybe I’d do the surgery this fall, but once I made the decision that I was going to do it, I suddenly couldn’t do it fast enough. Now I’m all “Can you cut open my eyeball this week? Next week? PLEASE CUT OPEN MY EYEBALL.”
And as for my friends like Dawn who gasped, “But I like your glasses!” Don’t worry. Y’all should know I’m enough of an accessory whore to keep a pair of non-prescription specs around for the right occasions.
- 9 Comments
- Tags: aging, eyes, glasses, lasik
Menstruation suppression, again
23
May
2006
In: Happiness & Health
Looks like there’s another round of chatter in the media about menstruation suppression. You can read my (somewhat old) thoughts on the subject over here.
In reading this article from CNN, the comment that caught my eye the most was this:
Girls learn early on that menstruation is a sign of fertility and femininity, making its onset an eagerly awaited rite of passage.
The period is “way over-romanticized,” says Linda Gordon, a New York University professor specializing in women’s history and the history of sexuality.
I’m sorry, what?! What world is Linda Gordon living in? Where are women romanticizing their periods? I wish that there were more women romanticizing menstruation! It might be a step in the right direction. Most women feel a sad sort of resentment/embarrassment about the whole thing.
And only in my mother’s wildest feminist fantasies are girls “eagerly awaiting” their “rites of passage.” Would that this were actually how it were. As someone who actually had a menarche rite of passage (and attended several of my friends’ rites), I can say that we were in the vast, vast minority, and even we were mostly just playing along with our mothers.
Have these people looked at menstrual product advertising targeted at teens? There’s no “eagerly awaited” anything going on there. The focus seems mostly to be on convenience and discretion. Tampons are made to be tiny enough that you can sneak them to the bathroom without anyone knowing. Pads are made to be thin so that you can wear them without anyone knowing. If menstruation were romanticized, tampons would be accessories like cell phone charms.
It’s weird — it’s like in an effort to make an argument for menstrual suppression, the article creates a fantasy world where girls are actually body-positive and ok with their periods. (Thanks to Marisa Karplus for bringing the CNN article to my attention!)
- 8 Comments
- Tags: birth control, menstruation, the pill
In February I started going to NIA classes once a week. NIA immediately hooked me (read about my first class here), and I’ve continued to attend classes Friday mornings ever since.
Between musical theater in high school, noodling around to Phish in college, and raving through my 20s, dancing with people is the thread that’s held much of my life together. I think this is part of why NIA resonates for me — it gives me a new place to dance with people. But with a little bit of a fitness/well-being focus. God knows I need more aerobic exercise in my sedentary computer-lump life, and it’s just too perfect that I can get it through slightly woo-woo dancing.
NIA combines all my favorite things: the jazz-squares from my years of musical theater and the TAZ (temporary autonomous zone) of my raver halcyon days. Half the music that gets played in class is in my personal collection (Natascha Atlas, Justin Timberlake, Banco de Gaia) and the flexibility of the instruction lets me shake it how ever I want.
That said, NIA has its cheezy moments. Sometimes I hear a teacher say something like “Move like a scarf!” and I step outside myself and wince a little inside. But then I move like a scarf and it feels good and I politely stick a ball-gag in the mouth of my jaded internal critic.
The best part is how NIA has stretched my dance repertoire. Not that I toss out jazz squares on my favorite dirty dance floors (but ok sometimes I do), but I’d gotten in a bit of a raver-rut when it comes to movement. Sometimes I dance like the mid-’90s relic I am, and while that’s awesome because there’s simply nothing that feels as good as the reckless abandon of my beloved kick-step, it’s nice to remember other forms of movement.
I wish I could recommend NIA to more people. I guess I can say that if you’re a former musical theater hippie/raver dancer type who needs some aerobic exercise, you’ll love it. The rest of you would probably make fun of it, and that’s ok, too.
- 13 Comments
- Tags: dance, exercise, nia
Observations from the land of laryngitis
1
May
2006
In: Happiness & Health
Thanks to a sinusy head-cold, my voice started fading last Friday and has gotten progressively worse. I currently sound like a mix of Marge Simpson on a bad day, Lauren Bacall after gargling glass, and this woman I used to work with named Tiina. It’s quite strange. Here are a couple observations from this state of health:
• Friends think it’s really funny when a loudmouth loses her voice. HAR HAR, people. HAR HAR.
• Coworkers wince when I talk. My throat doesn’t hurt at all, but it clearly hurts their ears.
• When I call my bank, the guy on the other end of the phone can’t help but clear his throat constantly during our short conversation. It’s like he got sympathy tickles just from listening to me squeak and croak.
- 3 Comments
- Tags: illness
Fat is a feminist issue
29
Mar
2006
In: Happiness & Health
I grew up without a scale in the house. My mother threw the scale away when I was 8 years old, because she didn’t want me to ever feel a slave to it like she had as a teen. Fat was a feminist issue, and feeling fat meant caving into patriarchal pressures. I also didn’t have any Barbies growing up because my mom didn’t want me to have a distorted body image. Hey, makes sense to me. I got My Little Ponies, instead … they have stumpy legs and plump bubble butts and are probably a much better body model for little girls. As a result, I grew up with a solid, health body and healthy body image. I’m totally average-bodied: thick, but not fat; strong, not skinny.
However, six-plus years of working as a writer/sedentary lump accelerated my metabolism’s natural decline. Despite a daily yoga practice, I’ve never been an especially active person and having a sedentary career is without a doubt my biggest health liability.
Read the rest of this entry »
- 40 Comments
- Tags: exercise, feminism, food, weight loss
Last week I had my first of what will be almost every Friday off.
I woke up at my usual time, put on stretchy clothes, and headed off to Capitol Hill to attend my first NIA class. Last year, Dori had described NIA to me as “hippie aerobics” and I’d sort of been put off by the idea. Aerobics? Bleh. Hippies? Despite sort of being one, I have a low tolerance.
After attending a NIA class I can confirm that yes, hippie aerobics perfect describes it and holy shit! I loved it! It basically blends easy dance with some yoga, aerobics, and martial arts tossed in and then there were these moments where the teacher would hollar “Free form!” and everyone would just get funky with it. For someone like me who likes dancing at 9am and can never find anywhere to go do it, NIA was pretty much heaven. I will definitely be going again.
The class was taught at a dance studio that Dre and I used to live around the corner from, and after class I doodled over to the cafe where we used to get tea. It hadn’t changed. Thus caffeinated, I then walked down to my friend Dawn’s house. We at a light breakfast, smoked and gossiped, and then headed off to a noon yoga class at a yoga studio partially housed in the old Raverbooks storefront. It was a trip to walk into the space where Dre spent years selling counterculture books, and find it filled with, well, different books and overpriced yoga clothes (are there any other kind of yoga clothes?).
After yoga, it was a saunter back to Dawn’s to change clothes, then a saunter back down the street for lunch. Then saunter back to Dawn’s, then saunter down to Hothouse, Seattle’s woman-only bath house that just happens to be located under a lesbian bar. Dawn and I soaked for a couple hours and then it was back to her house one more time, before meeting Andreas for dinner, and then meeting a couple other friends to see Brokeback Mountain. After that, glasses of wine.
Summary: I spent Friday dancing, stretching, smoking, eating, and soaking. It was one of the best days I’ve had in a long long time and the only downside was that it made me really REALLY sad that I don’t live on Capitol Hill any more. During my moments of missing my former coworkers and workplace, all I need is a day like Friday to remind me that having a three-day weekend every weekend is well-worth sacrificing for. Life is meant to be lived this way.
- 9 Comments
- Tags: capitol hill, dance, exercise, nia, yoga
Goals 2006
30
Dec
2005
In: Happiness & Health
Every year I do my goals. Here are last year’s. Hopefully I can do as well working through this year’s!
1. Cultivate family
2. Yoga practice five mornings a week
3. Practice moderate eating, in balance with activity level
4. Improve work/life balance
5. Paint two rooms
6. Finish book
7. Find new ways to promote writing and media presence
8. Dedicate sweet time to friends who fit
9. Celebrate each season
10. Find mentors
Nice reminder that it’s all connected
20
Dec
2005
In: Happiness & Health
Friday night I went to a nice long yoga class. I stretched out on the floor in shivasana, and the teacher came and gave my neck a little rub and then some gentle pulling. As she pulled on my neck, my stomach gurgled. It was pretty cool.
- 0 Comments
- Tags: yoga
Morning Yoga
9
Dec
2005
In: Happiness & Health
One of my longtime readers expressed interest in hearing more about my morning yoga practice, so here you go.
Read the rest of this entry »
- 4 Comments
- Tags: exercise, yoga
Ahimsa
22
Sep
2005
In: Happiness & Health
Is it a good sign or a bad sign that this morning while chanting Om during yoga, I managed to thoroughly drool down my chin?
- 2 Comments
- Tags: relaxation, yoga
My eyes
19 Jun 2006 In: Happiness & HealthTonight I have a consultation to see if I want to do what heard someone this weekend refer to as “flap ‘n’ zap,” aka corrective laser eye surgery.
I’ve known lots of folks who’ve had lasik surgery (Vera’s description was the most detailed and helpful that I’ve seen), but I’ve never really considered it for myself. Too expensive. Too scary. And I like my glasses.
Then Patrick Farley, one of my favorite online artists, wrote about a dream he had shortly after having his surgery. Last night I dreamt I was with my friends at a campout at Willits, and we were looking at the stars, and I suddenly realized, “Hey, I don’t need these glasses!” And I took my glasses off, and the stars blazed into clearer focus than ever before, a jewel-like clarity I’d never before beheld.
Then he went on to talk about how it was one of the best life improvement decisions he’d ever made. Oh. Hmm.
Then I started thinking about all my summer plans and how awesome they would be if I didn’t have to do the glasses/prescriptions sunglasses/contacts shuffle. Inside: glasses! Outside: prescription sunglasses! Oops wait, swimming! contacts in quickly. Oh but then wait back outside — sunglasses! But wait, they’re prescription, so I guess I can either squint from the sun or take out my contacts, bla bla. It’s complicated.
I also started thinking about what my glasses have meant to me. I started wearing glasses at 13, then switched to contacts at 16, then back to glasses at 22. I switched back to glasses in part because my eyes + CRT monitors = eye strain, but in part because I was kicking off my career and was aware that my babyface was a distinct handicap. At 22 I looked like I was about 17. And that was if I was dressed nicely. If I was wearing my usual daily-wear my perceived age dropped to about 15. My glasses were a way of gaining respect from the people I worked with. Sure: I knew I was smart, but glasses helped set the stage so that when I started talking people weren’t totally confused by the enormous words that fell out of my face.
Ok, so that was cool. It’s worked for almost 10 years. And now, here I am. I’ve worked my way into a place in my career where no one’s surprised by what comes out when I open my mouth. I don’t need to prove myself with glasses any more — that’s what my resume is for.
And although I might still look a little younger than I am thanks to the babyface, I’m working on some deep groove smile lines that stick around even when I’m not smiling. I don’t think I need the glasses to help me look my age any more.
And then there are all the places I’ll be able to see … in rainstorms! In the shower! When swimming! In downward dog! When making out! While engaged in sexual congress! Immediately upon waking up! No more playing “Where are my glasses,” where in I pat around blindly and Andreas looks under couch cushions and books to see where I’ve left them. My god. No more shuffling of contacts and glasses and sunglasses. Doesn’t that sound nice? Then again, I do have to risk permanent blindness and suffer through the weirdest 10 minutes ever, complete with the smell of my own laser-burnt eye-flesh. Mm. Singed eye-flesh. Patrick Farley described it as like an alien probe. That seems like a euphemism.
Anyway, we’ll see how the consultation goes. Originally, I was thinking maybe I’d do the surgery this fall, but once I made the decision that I was going to do it, I suddenly couldn’t do it fast enough. Now I’m all “Can you cut open my eyeball this week? Next week? PLEASE CUT OPEN MY EYEBALL.”
And as for my friends like Dawn who gasped, “But I like your glasses!” Don’t worry. Y’all should know I’m enough of an accessory whore to keep a pair of non-prescription specs around for the right occasions.
- 9 Comments
- Tags: aging, eyes, glasses, lasik
Menstruation suppression, again
23 May 2006 In: Happiness & HealthLooks like there’s another round of chatter in the media about menstruation suppression. You can read my (somewhat old) thoughts on the subject over here.
In reading this article from CNN, the comment that caught my eye the most was this:
Girls learn early on that menstruation is a sign of fertility and femininity, making its onset an eagerly awaited rite of passage.The period is “way over-romanticized,” says Linda Gordon, a New York University professor specializing in women’s history and the history of sexuality.
I’m sorry, what?! What world is Linda Gordon living in? Where are women romanticizing their periods? I wish that there were more women romanticizing menstruation! It might be a step in the right direction. Most women feel a sad sort of resentment/embarrassment about the whole thing.
And only in my mother’s wildest feminist fantasies are girls “eagerly awaiting” their “rites of passage.” Would that this were actually how it were. As someone who actually had a menarche rite of passage (and attended several of my friends’ rites), I can say that we were in the vast, vast minority, and even we were mostly just playing along with our mothers.
Have these people looked at menstrual product advertising targeted at teens? There’s no “eagerly awaited” anything going on there. The focus seems mostly to be on convenience and discretion. Tampons are made to be tiny enough that you can sneak them to the bathroom without anyone knowing. Pads are made to be thin so that you can wear them without anyone knowing. If menstruation were romanticized, tampons would be accessories like cell phone charms.
It’s weird — it’s like in an effort to make an argument for menstrual suppression, the article creates a fantasy world where girls are actually body-positive and ok with their periods. (Thanks to Marisa Karplus for bringing the CNN article to my attention!)
- 8 Comments
- Tags: birth control, menstruation, the pill
In February I started going to NIA classes once a week. NIA immediately hooked me (read about my first class here), and I’ve continued to attend classes Friday mornings ever since.
Between musical theater in high school, noodling around to Phish in college, and raving through my 20s, dancing with people is the thread that’s held much of my life together. I think this is part of why NIA resonates for me — it gives me a new place to dance with people. But with a little bit of a fitness/well-being focus. God knows I need more aerobic exercise in my sedentary computer-lump life, and it’s just too perfect that I can get it through slightly woo-woo dancing.
NIA combines all my favorite things: the jazz-squares from my years of musical theater and the TAZ (temporary autonomous zone) of my raver halcyon days. Half the music that gets played in class is in my personal collection (Natascha Atlas, Justin Timberlake, Banco de Gaia) and the flexibility of the instruction lets me shake it how ever I want.
That said, NIA has its cheezy moments. Sometimes I hear a teacher say something like “Move like a scarf!” and I step outside myself and wince a little inside. But then I move like a scarf and it feels good and I politely stick a ball-gag in the mouth of my jaded internal critic.
The best part is how NIA has stretched my dance repertoire. Not that I toss out jazz squares on my favorite dirty dance floors (but ok sometimes I do), but I’d gotten in a bit of a raver-rut when it comes to movement. Sometimes I dance like the mid-’90s relic I am, and while that’s awesome because there’s simply nothing that feels as good as the reckless abandon of my beloved kick-step, it’s nice to remember other forms of movement.
I wish I could recommend NIA to more people. I guess I can say that if you’re a former musical theater hippie/raver dancer type who needs some aerobic exercise, you’ll love it. The rest of you would probably make fun of it, and that’s ok, too.
- 13 Comments
- Tags: dance, exercise, nia
Observations from the land of laryngitis
1 May 2006 In: Happiness & HealthThanks to a sinusy head-cold, my voice started fading last Friday and has gotten progressively worse. I currently sound like a mix of Marge Simpson on a bad day, Lauren Bacall after gargling glass, and this woman I used to work with named Tiina. It’s quite strange. Here are a couple observations from this state of health:
• Friends think it’s really funny when a loudmouth loses her voice. HAR HAR, people. HAR HAR.
• Coworkers wince when I talk. My throat doesn’t hurt at all, but it clearly hurts their ears.
• When I call my bank, the guy on the other end of the phone can’t help but clear his throat constantly during our short conversation. It’s like he got sympathy tickles just from listening to me squeak and croak.
- 3 Comments
- Tags: illness
Fat is a feminist issue
29 Mar 2006 In: Happiness & HealthI grew up without a scale in the house. My mother threw the scale away when I was 8 years old, because she didn’t want me to ever feel a slave to it like she had as a teen. Fat was a feminist issue, and feeling fat meant caving into patriarchal pressures. I also didn’t have any Barbies growing up because my mom didn’t want me to have a distorted body image. Hey, makes sense to me. I got My Little Ponies, instead … they have stumpy legs and plump bubble butts and are probably a much better body model for little girls. As a result, I grew up with a solid, health body and healthy body image. I’m totally average-bodied: thick, but not fat; strong, not skinny.
However, six-plus years of working as a writer/sedentary lump accelerated my metabolism’s natural decline. Despite a daily yoga practice, I’ve never been an especially active person and having a sedentary career is without a doubt my biggest health liability.
Read the rest of this entry »
- 40 Comments
- Tags: exercise, feminism, food, weight loss
Last week I had my first of what will be almost every Friday off.
I woke up at my usual time, put on stretchy clothes, and headed off to Capitol Hill to attend my first NIA class. Last year, Dori had described NIA to me as “hippie aerobics” and I’d sort of been put off by the idea. Aerobics? Bleh. Hippies? Despite sort of being one, I have a low tolerance.
After attending a NIA class I can confirm that yes, hippie aerobics perfect describes it and holy shit! I loved it! It basically blends easy dance with some yoga, aerobics, and martial arts tossed in and then there were these moments where the teacher would hollar “Free form!” and everyone would just get funky with it. For someone like me who likes dancing at 9am and can never find anywhere to go do it, NIA was pretty much heaven. I will definitely be going again.
The class was taught at a dance studio that Dre and I used to live around the corner from, and after class I doodled over to the cafe where we used to get tea. It hadn’t changed. Thus caffeinated, I then walked down to my friend Dawn’s house. We at a light breakfast, smoked and gossiped, and then headed off to a noon yoga class at a yoga studio partially housed in the old Raverbooks storefront. It was a trip to walk into the space where Dre spent years selling counterculture books, and find it filled with, well, different books and overpriced yoga clothes (are there any other kind of yoga clothes?).
After yoga, it was a saunter back to Dawn’s to change clothes, then a saunter back down the street for lunch. Then saunter back to Dawn’s, then saunter down to Hothouse, Seattle’s woman-only bath house that just happens to be located under a lesbian bar. Dawn and I soaked for a couple hours and then it was back to her house one more time, before meeting Andreas for dinner, and then meeting a couple other friends to see Brokeback Mountain. After that, glasses of wine.
Summary: I spent Friday dancing, stretching, smoking, eating, and soaking. It was one of the best days I’ve had in a long long time and the only downside was that it made me really REALLY sad that I don’t live on Capitol Hill any more. During my moments of missing my former coworkers and workplace, all I need is a day like Friday to remind me that having a three-day weekend every weekend is well-worth sacrificing for. Life is meant to be lived this way.
- 9 Comments
- Tags: capitol hill, dance, exercise, nia, yoga
Goals 2006
30 Dec 2005 In: Happiness & HealthEvery year I do my goals. Here are last year’s. Hopefully I can do as well working through this year’s!
1. Cultivate family
2. Yoga practice five mornings a week
3. Practice moderate eating, in balance with activity level
4. Improve work/life balance
5. Paint two rooms
6. Finish book
7. Find new ways to promote writing and media presence
8. Dedicate sweet time to friends who fit
9. Celebrate each season
10. Find mentors
Nice reminder that it’s all connected
20 Dec 2005 In: Happiness & HealthFriday night I went to a nice long yoga class. I stretched out on the floor in shivasana, and the teacher came and gave my neck a little rub and then some gentle pulling. As she pulled on my neck, my stomach gurgled. It was pretty cool.
- 0 Comments
- Tags: yoga
Morning Yoga
9 Dec 2005 In: Happiness & HealthOne of my longtime readers expressed interest in hearing more about my morning yoga practice, so here you go.
Read the rest of this entry »
- 4 Comments
- Tags: exercise, yoga
Ahimsa
22 Sep 2005 In: Happiness & HealthIs it a good sign or a bad sign that this morning while chanting Om during yoga, I managed to thoroughly drool down my chin?
- 2 Comments
- Tags: relaxation, yoga
Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, was published last year.
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