Daily affirmations of a word mercenary
Wedding Category
Andreas and I have been together since New Years Eve 1997. We’ve lived together since fall of 1998. We’ve travelled across Europe together. We spend holidays and vacations with each other’s families. We’re listed on each other’s bank accounts. We’ve moved around the country together. And after almost seven years of commitment, we finally made it legal in August 2004. And now I’m writing a book about it.
Part of the forecast for tomorrow:
.SYNOPSIS…AN UNSEASONABLY VIGOROUS PACIFIC FRONT WILL SPREAD RAIN TO THE COAST TONIGHT AND MOVE THROUGH WESTERN WASHINGTON ON FRIDAY. IT COULD BE THE RAINIEST DAY OF THE SUMMER SO FAR…AND THE SYSTEM COULD PRODUCE THUNDERSTORMS AND BLUSTERY WINDS AS WELL. A RIDGE WILL BUILD QUICKLY OVER THE AREA BEHIND THE FRONT…BRINGING SUNNY AND WARMER WEATHER THIS WEEKEND AND EARLY NEXT WEEK.
Friday night we can find room for all our campers to sleep inside (a school bus, yurt, etc!), so I’m actually sort of excited to see this storm. 15mph winds! thundershowers! applause from the heavens!
It looks like it’ll be fine on Saturday (whew), and then on Sunday it’ll be 80 degrees, which is great since lots of our guests will be hanging out into the day on Sunday.
It’s drippy in Seattle. Not really raining, but spots of dripping. I know I should probably be in full-blown freak-out mode, but all weather reports predict a dry Saturday so I’m totally ok.
I’m also soothed by what I saw out on the Island yesterday. We headed over to deliver Dallas and Erin and a truck FULL of food to the studio at my mom’s house. We did a quick walk through the woods, and I have to say that the rain makes the forest ten times more lovely. I mean, it is a rain forest after all, and when the rain’s been dripping through the trees everything gets the most gorgeous shine. All the dust gets washed off the ferns, and things glisten a shade of green that just makes you want to run around and hug things.
The rain thus far hasn’t been so heavy to really soak the ground beneath the trees, so I don’t think our campers will get too wet. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow during the day, so there is some concern that our set up time may be a little pinched by dribbles and that the casual evening potluck may be under plastic canopies…but that’s ok. We’ve got all day Saturday to set up, and folks can handle a little drip. The only concern is that the ground wouldn’t completely dry by Saturday evening, and our picnickers would get wet butts. We’ll see about that.
We’re in semi-swing wedding preparation mode now! Our first guests have arrived (Dallas & Erin), and last night I had a volunteer sweatshop of friends helping me put together our wedding programs. This morning everyone but me has gone out for an epic five hour grocery shopping trip so that Erin can get started on food prep.
I meanwhile, am sipping tea (decaf, of course) and preparing to get my legs waxed. Tough life, I know.
Tomorrow is when the madness really kicks in…several friends are arriving over the course of the day, and we’ll have two of them — Sarah, upper location manager; and Megan, DJ and invitation designer — staying with us tomorrow night. Have you noticed yet how every single person who’s coming to this wedding is helping out somehow? I think “helping guests” outnumber “standard guests” 2:1.
Anniversaries
3
Aug
2004
In: Wedding
Is it weird that, even thought we’re getting married August 7th, Andreas and I have decided that our anniversary will remain January 1st? I just don’t see why we should measure our relationship by some arbitrary date we picked for its proximity to dry weather (and not being too close to Burning Man), as opposed to the date when we actually fell in love and the magic all started.
Therefore, our anniversary remains January 1st.
Non-Preparation
2
Aug
2004
In: Wedding
I just walked over to our friend Leandra’s house to pick up her infamous fuzzy elf coat. She’s loaning it to me for the night of the wedding, and lemme tell ya: it’s perfect. A little hard to wriggle in and out of, but the most perfectly complimentary warm polar fleecy design.
When I arrived at her house, Leandra asked me how wedding prep was going. I explained that it was fine, and she looked me over and said, “Are you doing that whole ‘work out a ton to get in shape for the wedding’ thing?”
I grimaced. “No. Not at all.” (In fact, just yesterday I had a heart to heart with my rolly-polly tummy about how we really needed to do something.)
“Really?” she said. “You look great!”
Nice!! All the compliments, none of the work!
Week Of Off
2
Aug
2004
In: Wedding
Today begins my pre-wedding vacation from work. I decided to take this whole week off for preparation and lemme tell you: I can already tell that it’s going to be worth every cent of income I’m sacrificing. Seriously. We don’t have any big issues to deal with (yet!) this week, but it’s so nice to have the emotional luxury to focus on all the tiny details in the comfort of my own home. Also, our first guests arrive tomorrow (Erin and Dallas, our friends as well as caterer and bartender), so it’ll be nice to actually have time to spend with people before the chaos of the wedding itself.
Also, this morning we got a funny phone call from some people who are supposed to be working on our windows. “Is this the Andreas household?” the woman asked, suggesting that they’d gotten Dre’s first and last names flipped. Then I thought, how funny would it be to take your spouse’s first name as your last name? HA! So he would be Andreas Tillman Ariel, and I would be Ariel Meadow Andreas. I can’t imagine that anyone would actually do this, but it cracked me up for a few minutes thinking about it. (Oh, and for those who missed the Engagement FAQ, I will not be taking Dre’s surname for reasons political, career-based, and aesthetic.)
Wedding Weather
1
Aug
2004
In: Wedding
I swore I wouldn’t, but I find myself obessively checking the National Weather Service’s Zone Forecast for Seattle. My favorite part is the Forecast discussion, where-in some climatoligist writes little notes about his/her forecast process. Lately the notes have been things like “Dull forecast…don’t anticipate updating.”
Today, however, I got a little jolt from the forecast discussion:
…FRI THROUGH SUN…MAY POSE A PROBLEM. MODEL SOLUTIONS COMING AROUND TO A MORE WET AND COOLER SOLUTION THAN HAS BEEN ADVERTISED UP TIL NOW. GFS90 AND GFSLR INDICATE ANOTHER SYSTEM ROLLING ONSHORE FRI NIGHT WITH TROF CLOSE ENOUGH TO AFFECT THE WEATHER INTO THE WEEKEND …CONFIDENCE IN A DRY WEEKEND IS DROPPING … IF INTERESTED IN OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES NEXT WEEKEND…STAY TUNED TO LATER FORECASTS.
…keep breathing…keep breathing…
Ceremonial
31
Jul
2004
In: Wedding
Our ceremony is really coming together nicely. We have each of our four birth-parents contributing in some way, and the language feels like the perfect balance of reverant but totally secular and grounded.
Random synchronicity: Andreas and I wrote our vows separately, and each is exactly 119 words long.
Our only problem now is what Tania, our processional vocalist, is going to sing. She’s got a voice that could blow doors down and make grumpy old men break down into a pile of simpering tears, but we’re not sure what she’s singing. Something a capella. Any suggestions?
Registrauma
30
Jul
2004
In: Wedding
Do you have any idea how hard it is to make a wedding registry when you’ve been living together for six years? In many ways, registries only make sense for very young couples or those who go straight from living with their parents to living with a spouse.
Dre and I did our registry at Amazon, in part because the company has paid our bills since 2000, and in part because they have a really wide diversity of products to choose from. Oh, and also because I’m a web geek and for godsake, where else would I register?
But it was like pulling teeth out to put things on the registry. It took us ages to find the $7 vegan cookbooks and who knows about the knife set. We’ve got martini glasses from Finland and a subscription for “fruits of the month” gift baskets (er, the gift that keeps on giving?). We’ve got the Wandering Chicken of Pistoulet and a cheese grater and a robotic vacuum cleaner. Each of these things felt silly to add to the registry, because none of them are anything we need. We have everything we need. It’s hard to pick out gifts that we, as a couple, want. I have lots of things that I want for ME, but is it really right to have a My Little Pony on the wedding registry?
Stranger still is that a couple guests have called to say, “I don’t want to get you something boring off your registry — what do you really want.” What I really want is a handcrafted running table custom-made by my mother in law, but I already got that. What I really want is a night of sleep where I don’t wake up before dawn and start mentally running through my to-do list. What I really want is all our friends and family in one place at the same time, but that’s already in the mail. What else could we really want?
The other night I was sitting out, talking with MGB* about the outfit I’m wearing for our wedding.
“I know that conventional wisdom says that classical clothes are best for weddings,” I mused. “The pictures will be around for years, and the last thing you want to do is look trendy or outdated. But I just don’t care! I don’t want to look classical.”
“How would you describe how you want to look?” MGB asked me. What a pointedly thoughtful fashion question! This is why it’s good to have gay boyfriends.
I thought for a second. “Like I’m dressed for a great fucking party.”
And so, that’s how Andreas and I are going to be dressed. I want my wedding to be a reflection of who we are right now. I don’t want my appearance to be shaped by some predicted fear of embarassing my future children. I figure I might as well get a good head start on humiliating my kid. Years of humiliation ahead. The butt-length ripped fabric and ribbon headpiece is just a warm up, really.
With the exception perhaps of my ivory satin cream-length pointy-hemmed skirt, every component of my wedding outfit is something I can wear again. Hell: the corset is something I’ll be able to wear for the rest of my life, even if I double in girth.
I’m excited about what we’ll be wearing. We will look like the freaks that we are. Just like we want it.
*MGB = My Gay Boyfriend, who’s actually straight, but let’s not quibble: he’s the boy with whome I can gossip, talk fashion, and compare exfoliants.
Part of the forecast for tomorrow:
.SYNOPSIS…AN UNSEASONABLY VIGOROUS PACIFIC FRONT WILL SPREAD RAIN TO THE COAST TONIGHT AND MOVE THROUGH WESTERN WASHINGTON ON FRIDAY. IT COULD BE THE RAINIEST DAY OF THE SUMMER SO FAR…AND THE SYSTEM COULD PRODUCE THUNDERSTORMS AND BLUSTERY WINDS AS WELL. A RIDGE WILL BUILD QUICKLY OVER THE AREA BEHIND THE FRONT…BRINGING SUNNY AND WARMER WEATHER THIS WEEKEND AND EARLY NEXT WEEK.
Friday night we can find room for all our campers to sleep inside (a school bus, yurt, etc!), so I’m actually sort of excited to see this storm. 15mph winds! thundershowers! applause from the heavens!
It looks like it’ll be fine on Saturday (whew), and then on Sunday it’ll be 80 degrees, which is great since lots of our guests will be hanging out into the day on Sunday.
It’s drippy in Seattle. Not really raining, but spots of dripping. I know I should probably be in full-blown freak-out mode, but all weather reports predict a dry Saturday so I’m totally ok.
I’m also soothed by what I saw out on the Island yesterday. We headed over to deliver Dallas and Erin and a truck FULL of food to the studio at my mom’s house. We did a quick walk through the woods, and I have to say that the rain makes the forest ten times more lovely. I mean, it is a rain forest after all, and when the rain’s been dripping through the trees everything gets the most gorgeous shine. All the dust gets washed off the ferns, and things glisten a shade of green that just makes you want to run around and hug things.
The rain thus far hasn’t been so heavy to really soak the ground beneath the trees, so I don’t think our campers will get too wet. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow during the day, so there is some concern that our set up time may be a little pinched by dribbles and that the casual evening potluck may be under plastic canopies…but that’s ok. We’ve got all day Saturday to set up, and folks can handle a little drip. The only concern is that the ground wouldn’t completely dry by Saturday evening, and our picnickers would get wet butts. We’ll see about that.
We’re in semi-swing wedding preparation mode now! Our first guests have arrived (Dallas & Erin), and last night I had a volunteer sweatshop of friends helping me put together our wedding programs. This morning everyone but me has gone out for an epic five hour grocery shopping trip so that Erin can get started on food prep.
I meanwhile, am sipping tea (decaf, of course) and preparing to get my legs waxed. Tough life, I know.
Tomorrow is when the madness really kicks in…several friends are arriving over the course of the day, and we’ll have two of them — Sarah, upper location manager; and Megan, DJ and invitation designer — staying with us tomorrow night. Have you noticed yet how every single person who’s coming to this wedding is helping out somehow? I think “helping guests” outnumber “standard guests” 2:1.
Anniversaries
3 Aug 2004 In: WeddingIs it weird that, even thought we’re getting married August 7th, Andreas and I have decided that our anniversary will remain January 1st? I just don’t see why we should measure our relationship by some arbitrary date we picked for its proximity to dry weather (and not being too close to Burning Man), as opposed to the date when we actually fell in love and the magic all started.
Therefore, our anniversary remains January 1st.
Non-Preparation
2 Aug 2004 In: WeddingI just walked over to our friend Leandra’s house to pick up her infamous fuzzy elf coat. She’s loaning it to me for the night of the wedding, and lemme tell ya: it’s perfect. A little hard to wriggle in and out of, but the most perfectly complimentary warm polar fleecy design.
When I arrived at her house, Leandra asked me how wedding prep was going. I explained that it was fine, and she looked me over and said, “Are you doing that whole ‘work out a ton to get in shape for the wedding’ thing?”
I grimaced. “No. Not at all.” (In fact, just yesterday I had a heart to heart with my rolly-polly tummy about how we really needed to do something.)
“Really?” she said. “You look great!”
Nice!! All the compliments, none of the work!
Week Of Off
2 Aug 2004 In: WeddingToday begins my pre-wedding vacation from work. I decided to take this whole week off for preparation and lemme tell you: I can already tell that it’s going to be worth every cent of income I’m sacrificing. Seriously. We don’t have any big issues to deal with (yet!) this week, but it’s so nice to have the emotional luxury to focus on all the tiny details in the comfort of my own home. Also, our first guests arrive tomorrow (Erin and Dallas, our friends as well as caterer and bartender), so it’ll be nice to actually have time to spend with people before the chaos of the wedding itself.
Also, this morning we got a funny phone call from some people who are supposed to be working on our windows. “Is this the Andreas household?” the woman asked, suggesting that they’d gotten Dre’s first and last names flipped. Then I thought, how funny would it be to take your spouse’s first name as your last name? HA! So he would be Andreas Tillman Ariel, and I would be Ariel Meadow Andreas. I can’t imagine that anyone would actually do this, but it cracked me up for a few minutes thinking about it. (Oh, and for those who missed the Engagement FAQ, I will not be taking Dre’s surname for reasons political, career-based, and aesthetic.)
Wedding Weather
1 Aug 2004 In: WeddingI swore I wouldn’t, but I find myself obessively checking the National Weather Service’s Zone Forecast for Seattle. My favorite part is the Forecast discussion, where-in some climatoligist writes little notes about his/her forecast process. Lately the notes have been things like “Dull forecast…don’t anticipate updating.”
Today, however, I got a little jolt from the forecast discussion:
…FRI THROUGH SUN…MAY POSE A PROBLEM. MODEL SOLUTIONS COMING AROUND TO A MORE WET AND COOLER SOLUTION THAN HAS BEEN ADVERTISED UP TIL NOW. GFS90 AND GFSLR INDICATE ANOTHER SYSTEM ROLLING ONSHORE FRI NIGHT WITH TROF CLOSE ENOUGH TO AFFECT THE WEATHER INTO THE WEEKEND …CONFIDENCE IN A DRY WEEKEND IS DROPPING … IF INTERESTED IN OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES NEXT WEEKEND…STAY TUNED TO LATER FORECASTS.
…keep breathing…keep breathing…
Ceremonial
31 Jul 2004 In: WeddingOur ceremony is really coming together nicely. We have each of our four birth-parents contributing in some way, and the language feels like the perfect balance of reverant but totally secular and grounded.
Random synchronicity: Andreas and I wrote our vows separately, and each is exactly 119 words long.
Our only problem now is what Tania, our processional vocalist, is going to sing. She’s got a voice that could blow doors down and make grumpy old men break down into a pile of simpering tears, but we’re not sure what she’s singing. Something a capella. Any suggestions?
Registrauma
30 Jul 2004 In: WeddingDo you have any idea how hard it is to make a wedding registry when you’ve been living together for six years? In many ways, registries only make sense for very young couples or those who go straight from living with their parents to living with a spouse.
Dre and I did our registry at Amazon, in part because the company has paid our bills since 2000, and in part because they have a really wide diversity of products to choose from. Oh, and also because I’m a web geek and for godsake, where else would I register?
But it was like pulling teeth out to put things on the registry. It took us ages to find the $7 vegan cookbooks and who knows about the knife set. We’ve got martini glasses from Finland and a subscription for “fruits of the month” gift baskets (er, the gift that keeps on giving?). We’ve got the Wandering Chicken of Pistoulet and a cheese grater and a robotic vacuum cleaner. Each of these things felt silly to add to the registry, because none of them are anything we need. We have everything we need. It’s hard to pick out gifts that we, as a couple, want. I have lots of things that I want for ME, but is it really right to have a My Little Pony on the wedding registry?
Stranger still is that a couple guests have called to say, “I don’t want to get you something boring off your registry — what do you really want.” What I really want is a handcrafted running table custom-made by my mother in law, but I already got that. What I really want is a night of sleep where I don’t wake up before dawn and start mentally running through my to-do list. What I really want is all our friends and family in one place at the same time, but that’s already in the mail. What else could we really want?
The other night I was sitting out, talking with MGB* about the outfit I’m wearing for our wedding.
“I know that conventional wisdom says that classical clothes are best for weddings,” I mused. “The pictures will be around for years, and the last thing you want to do is look trendy or outdated. But I just don’t care! I don’t want to look classical.”
“How would you describe how you want to look?” MGB asked me. What a pointedly thoughtful fashion question! This is why it’s good to have gay boyfriends.
I thought for a second. “Like I’m dressed for a great fucking party.”
And so, that’s how Andreas and I are going to be dressed. I want my wedding to be a reflection of who we are right now. I don’t want my appearance to be shaped by some predicted fear of embarassing my future children. I figure I might as well get a good head start on humiliating my kid. Years of humiliation ahead. The butt-length ripped fabric and ribbon headpiece is just a warm up, really.
With the exception perhaps of my ivory satin cream-length pointy-hemmed skirt, every component of my wedding outfit is something I can wear again. Hell: the corset is something I’ll be able to wear for the rest of my life, even if I double in girth.
I’m excited about what we’ll be wearing. We will look like the freaks that we are. Just like we want it.
*MGB = My Gay Boyfriend, who’s actually straight, but let’s not quibble: he’s the boy with whome I can gossip, talk fashion, and compare exfoliants.
Hey there. I'm Ariel Meadow Stallings, a native Seattleite who's written my way up and down the Left Coast. Electrolicious is where I post daily randomata, but I also write for a living. My first book, Offbeat Bride, was published last year.
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